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Monday, 31 January 2005

All the News That Fits

Here's a hypothetical fly-on-the-wall account of 12 hours of goings-on at a fictional newspaper. You can tell it's fictional because no newspaper of note would engage in such shennanigans.
0900 : High Turnout in Baghdad Points to Early Success
Ed#1: What the hell is this crap?
Copy#1: It's what the reporters on the scene submitted.
Ed#1 : Look, we're supposed to be balanced here, objective, not some shills for Bush. RE-WRITE it and PRONTO!
Copy#1: Right you are, Sir

1000 : Amid Attacks, a Party Atmosphere on Baghdad's Closed Streets
Ed#1 : That's better, the "attacks" at the front balanced by the "Party atmosphere". Go with it
Copy#1: Yes, Sir!

1700 (Change of Shift) Editor #1 and Copy Editor #1 go home as their number 2's show up.

1730
Ed#2 : What the HELL is this CRAP? "Party Atmosphere??" Jeez, give me a break. We're not a wholly-owned subsidiary of the Republicans! RE-WRITE it and PRONTO! I want some Numbers! If it Bleeds, it Leads, and don't you forget it!
Copy#2: Certainement, Sir!

1800 Insurgent Attacks in Baghdad and Elsewhere Kill at Least 24
Ed#2 : "At least 24"? What kind of shilly-shally stuff is that? Twenty-Freaking-FOUR? That's not nearly enough, the Republicans will be laughing at us. RE-WRITE and I want to see as many dead as you can scare up!
Copy#2 : Mais Oui, Mon Capitaine!

2000 Attacks in Baghdad and Elsewhere Reportedly Kill Several Dozen
Ed#2 : Better. Much better. Sure there's no more? No? Oh well, "Several Dozen", could be 40, or even 60. And we've covered our asses with that "reportedly" bit. Go with it.
Of course a real newspaper could never do anything like that.

On a completely different topic, here's the record of the headlines on an article in the New York Times, which remained unchanged over the period.

09:24 High Turnout in Baghdad Points to Early Success

10:24 Amid Attacks, a Party Atmosphere on Baghdad's Closed Streets

18:26 Insurgent Attacks in Baghdad and Elsewhere Kill at Least 24

20:50 Attacks in Baghdad and Elsewhere Reportedly Kill Several Dozen

Hat Tip Ann Althouse.


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