From the Australian Amalgamated Press:
In what has to be the shortest press conference on record, Prime Minister Brain gave Australia's official reply to the recently reported demands of Jemaya Islamiya and Al Qaeda.A handout read as follows :
Walking up to the podium, he paused for a few seconds, then extended his right index finger in an unmistakeable gesture.
His finger was stained purple.
He then left the podium.
A message from the Prime Minister:
The Terrorists who hide behind a Human Shield of devout and pious Muslims have already attacked us many times before.
They attacked us on the 11th of September, when innocent Australians died with the collapse of the World Trade Centre.
They attacked us again, this time in Bali, where hundreds of innocent Australians and Balinese died.
Both of these attacks occurred before the Liberation of Iraq.
There is no evidence to show that changing Australia's foreign policy by kowtowing to terrorists would prevent future attacks.
Should Australia convert to Islam overnight, it would just make us a bigger target: for Al Qaeda and its minions have killed far more Muslims than all other religions combined.
8 Million Iraqis have given us an example of courage under fire from these evil people. We can do no less than they did, when they voted in their hundreds, thousands, and millions despite threats of the most dire sort.
Our future actions will speak louder than words ever could, so our reply will be brief, cogent, and unchangeable.
The answer to Al Qaeda, a bi-partisan answer which echoes from the complete spectrum of Australian Politics is, quite simply, No.
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