Tex Eats His Greens

Not so much "eating" as "chewing and spitting out".

Tex of Whacking Day has been having some fun with a new chew-toy.

You see, a long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away... OK, the Victorian state election in 2002... the Greens put up a rather, er, eccentric candidate called Thom Lyons.

Tex first got stuck in to TL's rather interesting views about the Worker's Paradise of Cuba, and what really happened during 9/11 back on 19th September.

Now TL didn't like that one little bit. He responded on USENET in the following eloquent terms :

Grow up fuckwit and leave the DLP. P stands for coward pussies by the way, the L stands for liars and the D for dumbass. Your 19th century view of life is duely noted

No its not nor is public property which your assholes hate. You seem to think any one thats not a corporation has no rights. SIG HEIL!

Tex has been known to vote for the Liberal Democratic Party (LDP) you see, so TL's confusion with the Democratic Labor Party which has been moribund for deceades is understandable, given his rather unique world-view.

Tex continued his merciless treatment of TL by just letting him speak for himself, only rarely condensing TL's rambles into something a bit more coherent, as in

And last of all, he claims that Christian political prisoner Dr. Oscar Biscet got thrown in prison because he is a CIA Miami Mafia Buddhist agent. No, I'm not making this up. Thom knows this because a Vietnamese priest told him so. Not only that, but it was the Catholic church, not Castro, who wanted him jailed.

Oh, and he also claimed North Korea isn't a communist society, but the Vatican is.

TL was at the peak of his eloquence and wit (not forgetting literacy) on the 9th of October :

your done here pufter pig

PISS OFF

DON't POST HERE AGAIN

Your an abusive moron with a mental problem.

piss off you degenerate freak.

Don'T post here again and stop lieing about communism you deranged moron.

And each time, Tex would add these words:

This was the man chosen by The Greens to be an election candidate.

So TL Called in the lawyers on November 3rd. And said this :

By the way, only morons have blogs. It shows a severe feeling of inadiquacy and self respect.

Well, that puts me in my place. Along with Glenn Reynolds, Tim Blair... before continuing with the usual unerring accuracy so characteristic of Gree candidates:

Oh by the way, I notice the host for your slanderous blog hasn't the balls to put an e-mail address up for complaints. Is he as big a chicken as you are?

In reply, Tex just linked to HostingMatters's website, where the complaints address abuse@hostmatters.com is quite visible. A quick look in Tex's "About" page will reveal the following:

Wanna know anything else, e-mail me: "tex {at} whackingday {dot} com"

After that, the action came thick and fast. But soon, the non-existence of the law firm TL claimed he'd hired (amongst many other inconsistencies) prompted Tex to speculate :

A thought just occurred to me: Thom couldn't have (gasp!) made all this up, could he?

TL replied with more threats, and complaints that he hadn't been able to track down the owners of Tex's site (hostingmatters, by the way, remember?).

On 10th November came the first implied physical threat of violence by TL.

TL revealed his Macho pro-gun credentials on the 13th, and denied he'd ever threatened legal action, along with this rather disturbing remark :

Why would I pay a lawyer to do man's job. They are the freaks that wear the womans wigs and dresses to work.

Now would be a good time to mention : I Am Not A Lawyer :)

More, increasingly desperate, attempts by TL to get Tex's address on the 17th, possibly so he could "so a man's job" with his gun?

On the 18th Tex reported this bizarre quote from TL :

Of course we hate Bush because we hate evil. The Bush crime family needs to be locked up to the man. They have been traitors since 1741 when they got here and were named Busche. By the way if you use GW's real name Busche and count the number of letters in each of his 3 names you get 6-6-6.

On the 23rd, Tex started a whole new front : examining TL's extravagant claims of his heroic war service. TL didn't like that, threatening all sorts of dire consequences from shadowy organisations. (And by the way, it's ECHELON not ESCHELON. Us shadowy organisational people know these things, as does anyone else with access to Wikipedia)

Tex examined TL's inconsistent stories, including claims of personal intervention by the Defence Minister of the time on his behalf, on 6th December, and made the following remark about TL's peculiar claims:

There may well be a kernel of truth in some or all of these, but I suspect there's a large pile of bullshit to be sorted through as well.

Don't you think if you could explain these things, you would? Yet, as usual, Thom's only responses are threats, ravings about 'mental illness', and outright lies.

The "Mental illness" being that of everyone else, not TL himself, of course.

On 7th December came news of TL's activities on USENET and elsewhere. Tex wrote:

...he's been sending an increasingly frantic series of e-mails to the folks at POWnetwork, who have filed a request for his records. Thom is claiming on USENET that he is having "discussions" with them, and that they are not carrying out any such check.

Problem for Thommy is that the good folks there have been notifying me of Thom's amusing correspondence. Thom wasn't aware of this, so has been caught out lying through his teeth yet again.

Ooops. "Oh what a tangled web we weave" etc etc.

When Tex actually did some checking into TL's claimed service with the RAAF, all he got was more threats, this time a complaint to the Victoria police. Interesting, and Tex, like me, lives in Canberra, a different state. The checks soon proved that TL had never served as an officer in the RAAF. Big Surprise that.

Tex published a summary of TL's various terminological inexactitudes, which had a predictable result. You see, when TL said "RAAF", the Royal Australian Air Force, because he was a dual US-Australian citizen (and why he was able to run as a candidate for a state election here), he now appears to say he meant the (British) Royal Air Force. It's all rather confusing really.

I did my Reserve time in Colorado and I was also in the Royal Air Force briefly as a flying officer. (thats the duel citizen stuff) My asthma was caused by exposure to Agent Orange in "Martin Manor" and other parts of "3 Corps". I was not allowed to have a RAAF career because of my physical problems.

Martin Manor? Tex checked that too.

According to the good folks at POWnetwork, 'Martin Manor' was the name of a washroom at Kontum, which from a quick glance at the map, is over two hundred miles from Tan Son Nhut, where Thom's records say he was stationed.

This is not a story about someone tormenting the mentally ill. You see, Thom Lyons is still a name to be conjured with in Green circles, quoted with admiration and credibility. And had Victorian electors voted "Green" often enough, he would be in a position of power right now.

It's the story of how one person, by "fact checking their asses", can show how pathological liars can easily get into political organisations famed for their gullibility and contempt for "mere facts", and lead them, and a trusting electorate, up the garden path.

So next time you vote Green - and some Green policies make a lot of sense - just make sure the person you're voting for doesn't believe in the International Zionazi Cosnpiracy to pollute our precious bodily fluids, OK?