Intermittent postings from Canberra, Australia on Software Development, Space, Politics, and Interesting URLs.
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Friday, 5 March 2010
A Boy's View
Some Heroes rescue people from burning buildings, or charge machine gun nests to help their comrades.
This guy is fighting a hard battle for his external masculinity, but has taken the time to help other guys in the same terrible situation. Forget the posturing dick-swinging macho BS of some people who think that's what masculinity is all about, when it comes to being a Real Man, this guy's the Real Deal. And he's only 15...
3 comments:
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That was sweet and sad and made me cry.
ReplyDeleteI suspect from my exposure to my female to androgyn spouse and FTM's on the boards that dysphoria seems to affect them more than it does us (MTF). I could not bare to have dysphoria hurt me more than it already does.
Poor kid!
ReplyDeleteI take hope from the way he's got a handle on it though, far better than trying too hard to be what you aren't really inside and making a cock-up of it. I wish my teenaged self could have seen that video.
Let's hope we see a future video sometime from him once he's sporting the stubble some of us wish we could lose.
This young man’s telling of how he hates looking at his naked body in a mirror really got to me. It brought back to me the painful memories I had going through my first puberty as a teen and how I reacted to looking to my own naked image in a mirror. What I saw in the mirror was just all wrong and monstrous. I hated seeing my reflection so much; I would start yelling out loud at my image screaming: "I HATE YOU, I HATE YOU". I’d ball my hands into fists and start hitting my head as hard as I could while I continued to yell. At the time I couldn’t understand why I reacted that way and I was so miserable and distraught that I constantly had thoughts of suicide and very nearly did it a few times.
ReplyDeleteNow, as I go thru my second puberty, when I see my self naked in the mirror, my growing breasts, the changes in my skin and face and I see the woman emerging, I see a person who is beautiful and who can I truly love and I have feelings of awe and wonder at the image I now behold. This is in such a stark contrast with my teenage experience. Only someone who has experienced going through this kind of transformation first hand, whether MtF or FtM, can understand just how truly liberating of ones’ spirit this experience is. Becoming comfortable in my own body has changed my of view of my inner self worth and in turn this has given me an incredible boost of self confidence, which is something I have not had before in my 56 years of life. As many have said in the past and many more will say in the future: “Why didn’t I do this sooner?”