It was a Dark and Stormy Night....

Winner of the Bulwer-Lytton Prize for Fiction, 2011:

Cheryl's mind turned like the vanes of a wind-powered turbine, chopping her sparrow-like thoughts into bloody pieces that fell onto a growing pile of forgotten memories.

My favourite is a runner-up in the Bad Pun section:

Monroe Mills' innovative new fabric-dyeing technique was a huge improvement over stone-washing: denim apparel was soaked in color and cured in an 800-degree oven, and the company's valued young dye department supervisor was as skilled as they came; yes, no one could say Marilyn was a normal jean baker.

To which I'd add:

Her personal life she lived like the tarnished container that held the dye, cooled and preserved by icy blasts as frigid as the supervisor was not - a can, dull, in the wind.