Monday, 23 June 2008


There is a political group within the Transsexual movement called "HBS" or "Harry Benjamin Syndrome".

I'll quote from the The Original HBS Site :
Harry Benjamin's Syndrome is an intersex condition developed in the early stages of pregnancy affecting the process of sexual differentiation between male and female. This happens when the brain develops as a certain sex but the rest of the body takes on the physical characteristics of the opposite sex. The difference between this and most other intersex conditions is that there is no apparent evidence until much later after the baby is born or even as late as adolescence.
I completely agree about the medical issues, as I've posted about earlier. The evidence that they're correct is overwhelming. So what has this to do with politics?

It's about elitism. And transphobia. And homophobia too.

Please read this article by Charlotte Goiar at the International HBS forum. I agree with pretty much everything as far as the paragraph "Practical and definite Terminology and its meaning.". There I depart.
Persons with HBS are people who have Harry Benjamin’s Syndrome (HBS), a purely physiological condition. They are simply men or women. Such people are born with the characteristics of both male and female. In common with others who exhibit typical sexual development, they desire to modify their phenotype and endocrinal system to correct it to their dominant sexual identity, an identity that is determined by the structure of the brain. The person with HBS does not change sex, as gender identity is fixed at birth, and the medical treatment involved is only physical correction.Transsexualism (TS), Gender Identity Disorder (GID), or Gender Dysphoria is a mental condition that consists of the desire to live and to receive acceptance as a member of the opposite sex. Do not confuse this with HBS, as it is not medical.
It isn't? It's a symptom of cross-gendered neurology. Call it HBS or anything else, it's in the brain, and no amount of psychotherapeutic mumbo-jumbo will affect it in the slightest.

That's where some (and I stress some, not all) of the more fanatic elements of HBS theory start going wrong. Various kinds of HBS fanatics insist that only they are Intersexed, and others are psychiatrically ill. Some require anyone who's "really" HBS to be straight, to transition early, to be post-operative, to have had facial surgery and breast enhancement, to eschew all "boy stuff" and be perfect models of 1950s womanhood, or some combination thereof. And of course to have nothing to do with Gays or those freakish "Transgenderists" who are totally unlike them.

I'll quote from Laura's HBS Peer review :
As the owner of a Transsexual,Transgender web site I have always provided the latest information on Transsexual research on my site long before HBS was first uttered. So the research on HBS sites was very familiar to me. In order to learn more I joined the Official Yahoo HBS Support Group. What I learned had little to do with HBS. It instead turned out to be an anti-GLBT group. People who asked simple questions and needed support, were diagnosed by militant members as being transgendered, perverts and fetishists. Gays and lesbians were also denigrated with frequent slurs. In fact those who did support GLBT rights were banned simply for supporting them. Several that were diagnosed by those without medical degrees were affirmed post-ops with similar stories to mine. One thing Yahoos HBS groups are not is an HBS Support Group. The group moderator defends the constant anti-GLBT slurs as member venting.
It's difficult for me to be in this position. They're right about so much, but some (and I emphasise some) are total fruit-loops in other ways. Hateful too. I just don't understand how a group of people so badly persecuted can join in the persecution of others.

I don't identify as "transgendered", nor as gay. In fact, they are both as alien concepts to me as is, well, masculinity. But I'm no androphobe, my homophobia is mainly a thing of the past, and my transphobia under control. Mainly. It leaks out on occasion, as you'll see below.

I'm a member of the Australian HBS support group, simply because they're right about so much. Here's what I wrote in reply to one of the more strident members, not fanatical, merely hard-line:
The evidence is what it is, and I reserve the right to alter my opinions based on the evidence.

I do not ask you to "accept" anything. It would be useful if you could give more data, or if not, propose experiments that might prove your viewpoint is correct.

We "see through a glass darkly" here, taking clues and hints from all sorts of sources, some more reliable than others. I place little weight on most psychological studies, they've been proven to be unreliable in the past. I place more weight on MRI scans, and other objective data.

I place zero weight on my own self-perceptions, that I'm just a woman with an interesting medical history . Likewise my own desires as to what "should be". For if I had my druthers, there would be a nice neat binary, with HBS men and women easily and clearly distinguished from a variety of self-advertising publicity-seeking "TG Pride" paraphiliacs and fetishists.

For that matter, I would like to be either regarded as Intersexed or Transsexual(ie only neurally Intersexed), and not something in-between, with characteristics of both. Still, if I'm going to dream, let's go back to conception and give me 46xx chromosomes and a standard factory model female body, one that matches my brain.

My reading of the data though leads me to conclusions I don't like, but accept pending data that would contradict them.

1. That CG sexuality is not usually associated with extreme CG Gender
Identity, but in a third or so of cases, it's associated with mild CG
behavior, butch Lez or femme Gay, and rather more CG gender behaviour in childhood.

2. That CG gender identity is often (50%) associated with CG sexual
orientation, hence CG gender behaviour in childhood. 1/3 of children
showing CG behaviour are TS.

3. That CG gender identity is always associated with CG patterns of
thought - emotional response in particular- but not necessarily CG
sexual orientation (and childhood CG gender behaviour etc)

4.That CG gender identity is often associated with CG body image,
something else determined in a nearby part of the brain, and in most
cases this will require hormones, and in extreme cases, surgery to
alleviate the dysfunctionality.

But... that CG sexual orientation, gender identity, and body image, while coupled, are not absolutely so. They are distinct things. It's possible that only one will be affected, or two of the three. Worse, there are degrees, so both degrees of bigender and bisexuality exist, as do people not particularly enamoured with either M or F pattern bodies.

I will explain "CG" though, "Cross-Gendered". I define it as being "in relation to the arbitrary assignment at birth", and not in relation to genitalia, endocrinology, or anything else. Otherwise it can't be applied to any Intersexed people, for whom the chromosomes etc differ from the assignment. Furthermore, in relation to people with CG Gender Identity, who are strongly gendered, it can be more useful in a practical sense to reverse the polarity.

So a transWOMAN does not have a strongly CG gender identity, she has a strongly normal gender identity for a woman. It's her chromosomes (usually), her genitalia(usually), and in general her body apart from the brain that is cross-gendered for a woman. Sometimes her body image is cross-gendered too, and she's non-op. Sometimes her sexual orientation is cross-gendered too, and she's lesbian.

You may prefer to believe in a strict binary, where all 3, gender identity, sexual orientation, and body image are always the same. Either M or F, with no "degrees", just a binary. And anything else is an artifact of abnormal psychology, not neurology. My reading of the data indicates otherwise, but not only may my reasoning be wrong, the datasets are too small for comfort. I can't say that you're definitely wrong. Your belief would certainly simplify all sorts of issues, legal
and otherwise.

I have stated my conclusions. I have stated the evidence I base my conclusions on. In terms of "HBS activism", the political aspect, the fact that to me the evidence of a biological cause of "transsexuality" means I have to support the rationale for HBS activism. "It's the neurology, stupid! Female brains and minds lumbered at birth with male bodies!". And despite the "degrees" and "blurriness" of the biology, sometimes you have to simplify. It's *not* a rainbow spectrum, it's Red and Blue, but with a small band of purple between , some more red than blue, some more blue than red, and some just purple. To say it's Red or Blue, while not 100% accurate, a least won't confuse the ignorant, while all sorts of scientific disclaimers might just give them the totally false impression that colour doesn't exist.

If I may make an analogy - the Earth doesn't orbit the Sun. They orbit each other around a common centre of gravity, which is really close to the Sun's centre. And that's a simplification, because other planets perturb things a bit, and the Moon causes even more perturbation., And the orbit isn't circular, but elliptical. It's complex.

But to say "the Earth doesn't orbit the Sun", while strictly accurate, is misleading to the ignorant. I support the Heliocentric model of the solar system to the same extent that I support the HBS theory, if you get my point. That's why I'm here, to give battle to the Geocentricists and Flat Earthers, the followers of Bailey, Raymond and the like.
I'm hoping the Australian HBS group retains the moderate stance it has taken so far - basing its views on medical data, rather than psychological insecurities and elitism.

Why does this all have to be so complicated? *SIGH*


Anonymous said...

I recently joined an HBS forum, but I only lasted about a week. The two people who ran things were.... um... phobic I guess is the best word to use. So I just quit the place because I knew trying to make a difference there would only lead to turmoil and probable banning. In case you're interested Zoƫ, it's one listed as a "BL alternative" if you know what I mean.

Anonymous said...

"Transsexualism (TS), Gender Identity Disorder (GID), or Gender Dysphoria is a mental condition that consists of the desire to live and to receive acceptance as a member of the opposite sex. Do not confuse this with HBS, as it is not medical."

Huh? How does one determine that her's or his is medical and that mine or your is not based on whether or not we go to bed with this or that person, or whether or not we have or haven';t been able to afford the exact same operations?

To take a perfectly good medical hypothesis, like HBS, that has more and more medico-biological evidence developing to prove it, and turn it into some kind of anti-queer, anti-inclusionary dogma is just lame as can be.

I understand the pain and the confusion a life in two-genders can bring. I've lived one: the declared one and the one I actually have.

It's not easy, but to exclude the validity of another based on w/ whom she is attracted to or her ability to pay "out-of-pocket" for a procedure; and thus, try to say she's not like me until she forks over the cash is to denigrate the validity of a lot of work and analysis done by a number of researchers to membership in a club that demands exorbitant dues!

With Charlotte Goiar and others of her ilk, we return transsexuality to the nasty little closets of "craziness" from which we would all like to see it released. Their dislike of being like other human beings and their unwillingness to see the transparent social snobbery that masquerades for "factual proof" is just totally wrong-headed and harmful.

As you say, what's more it's not being done by "our enemies" like Bailey, Blanchard, Dreger & Zucker. It's being done by ourselves.

The HBS-radicals need to understand that science and discovery are not about joining an exclusive club that keeps out the "rabble." Rather they are about opening the doors of everyday humanity to a larger group of people. That is not a bad thing.

Thanks, Zo-bee, for another well-written, insightful and truly encompassing vision of scientific evidence and practice.

Your heart and the heart of others like you will help immensely in the stand against these neo-Nazis of our own kind.



Zoe Brain said...

I wouldn't go as far as to call them Neo-Nazis. Not nearly that far. Many are groping their way to understanding, and have let their own fears and prejudices get in the way. Too many have endured being called perverts, and being accused by pig-ignorant "professionals" of insanity.

Some are just bigots - for TS can happen to anyone. But I think many have been driven crazy by such awful treatment, and this is a defence, an ego-enhancing mechanism to shore up their own insecurity. I can't really blame them, given the decades of mistreatment many have endured.

But I'm no psychologist, I could be wrong there.

And some may just differ in their appreciation of the science. They tend not to be quite so radical though. I don't have a direct line to Absolute Truth either. I meant it when I said I could be wrong. That's what scientific honesty is all about, no matter what the conclusions. Obviously I'm fairly confident I'm not in error though. Confident enough to publish and invite critique, in the hope of improving my knowledge.

The HBS-radicals need to understand that science and discovery are not about joining an exclusive club that keeps out the "rabble."
Exactly. Couldn't have put it better myself - so I'll pinch that phrase if I may.

Hugs, Zoe

Anonymous said...

Okay, so maybe 'neo-nazis' was more in the way of rhetorical heightening for effect than of an accurate description! *laugh*

I have read a few web comments by one in particular that sound very much like they haven't far to go to reach that level, though.


Of course you may 'pinch' it, luv. Zoe, you may issue it on currency if you wish. LOL. As much as I have 'pinched' some of your word over the past couple of years *smile* I definitely owe ya!



Anonymous said...

Hi Zoe,

So are you pro HBS? I'm a moderate HBS person. I don't care what it's named. I just care that we aren't lumped in with the T* world. I say that not like it's a bad thing, but an incorrect thing.

Anonymous said...

Why does this all have to be so complicated?

Because if your only desire is to help people, you do it by lending a hand or sending some money.
If someone has started an advocacy organization, you can safely bet that person is not an easy going, reasonable, see-both-sides person. (I'm married to such a person....)

Zoe Brain said...

To repeat, I'm as pro HBS as I am pro Heliocentricism.

Please see BiGender and the Brain for what I believe and why I believe this.

I don't mind HBS being defined as always involving CG Gender Identity and CG Body Map and CG sexual orientation, providing it is also realised that Transsexuality, which does not necessarily have all three, just CG gender identity, is as much a neurological condition as HBS. HBS is just a special case, of no particular significance compared to, say, the presence of some Intersex conditions other than neural ones.

I'd even go so far as to say that many or even most TG conditions are neurologically caused too. There's some that probably aren't, and some where both biology and psychology play a part, but I didn't study that, just the neurology.

You know the old joke "What is the difference between a fulltime cross-dresser and a transsexual? About 5 years." Exactly.

I know some women who are more feminine than me who are non-op. I know some post-op women who are far more feminine who not only transitioned late, but are Lez as can be.

I see TS people as having kinship with IS and not TG. But that's on practical grounds, the need for medical intervention (or to stop involuntary medical intervention). I'm just a bit more ... liberal you could say... at how I define TS than some. And willing to recognise the fuzziness of the boundaries.

And that is a totally different issue from that of GLBT human rights. I am for those, but in the same way I'm for Human Rights for Aleut Eskimos. It doesn't mean I identify with them, quite the contrary, I don't.

Am I pro HBS? I'd like to think so, and I've given some practical help in that area. But the more... extreme... HBS fanatics would disagree strongly. They have done in the past, and I've been labelled as fetishist, pervert, Transgender etc before now.

Which is kinda ironic. None of them were diagnosed as female before they started treatment. I was. They cross-dressed and engaged in "transgendered" behaviour before treatment. I didn't.

I don't make a big deal of it though, no "more female than thou" rubbish, because neurologically, I'm just the same. Maybe even less so, I'm a Geek Girl as well as a Soccer Mom, not exactly girlie supermodel material even if I had the body for it. Which I don't, worse luck. I never did stop being a tomboy. Just as I was never a boy. I only looked like one. And that was temporary. It got better, even before treatment.

Does that help?

Zoe Brain said...

laserlight - you make up for it though. You must be a good team.

I don't just want to help. I want to know why.

I want to know why when my body started feminising, it felt so right, so natural, in a way I'd never experienced before.

I want to know why I had such a monomaniacal desire to get the last logically non-essential bits, the genital reconstruction, done. It made me no more a woman than I was before. Yet the compulsion was such that the first time I truly thought about what I was doing was when I was on the operating table. And fell asleep, relaxed at last.

I want to know why being post-op feels so right. How come the instincts were pre-installed.

I want to know why when I first mixed with other women in the Women in Technology and Communication, that for the first time in my life I was amongst people who thought just like me.

I want to know why femininity isn't as important to me as maternity, why I have such an instinctual urge to have children. And to bear them, something I can never do. Why did I go to such lengths to become a parent, even becoming a father as that was my only chance.

And yes, I want to help too. I can't help the girl I once was, the one in such a horrible situation. But I can help other girls like her. I can't not help other girls like her.

Anonymous said...

HBS' Hope
(a not entirely original poem inspired by Mr. Shel Silverstein)

There once were some women who wanted to see-
sea-hi-dee, tea-hi-dee, pea-hi-dee-ho.
The cause of this thing that changed who'd they be-
bees-hi-dee, knees-hi-dee, trees-hi-de-oh.

So they took down some books and they found a good phrase-
Words-hi-dee, page-hi-dee, cage-hi-dee-stop.
And they thought that would make an excellent glaze-
Name-hi-dee, tame-hi-dee, sane-hi-dee-top.

(Happy Ending)
And they worked and they worked to promote new surveys-
Scan-hi-dee, ma'am-hi-dee, I see your brains!
And collected the research of several days-
Daze-hi-dee, pays-hi-dee, no-more-mixup!

(Unhappy Ending)
And they dug to the bottom of what made her a she-
'Mones-hi-dee, g'nomes-hi-dee, whatever-its-sin.
So they killed every fetus that like her would be-
Sad-hi-dee, bad-hi-dee, eugenic spin.

(Chicken Ending)
And they thought and they fought but the system won't bend-
Bend hi-dee, mend-hi-dee, what is the point?
So they watched anime and for pizza did send-
Send-hi-dee, Quit-hi-dee, let's smoke a joint.

Anonymous said...

Hi Zoe,

I think you hit the nail on the head re: HBS. As transpeople who grew up in a society that so values empiricism, we feel the need for the validation that an intersex diagnosis can give. I don't mean to say that transpeople aren't in fact intersex--just that until the science is there and it should be diagnosable, it's pure speculation. It just reeks of biological determinism to me--"I was born this way, and am therefore better than you, who has a mental defect." It's funny how conservative trans people can be sometimes, but I guess it does make sense. Those with the money to transition are often those with (relatively) privileged backgrounds, at least economically speaking.

Zoe Brain said...

Leah - try joining the Australian HBS group.

It's not those who agree with me that make it different. It's those who don't, yet remain as respectful of my views as I hope I am of theirs.

I haven't encountered a single shred of fanaticism or unreason there. Some who disagree, yes, and do so strongly, but do so without rancour. They set a high standard in tolerance and rationality that I can only hope to match.

HBS does not have to be the way so many of us have experienced it. And in Australia, at least, it isn't. That's not my influence, it's the way they are.

Battybattybats said...

Great post Zoe!
Clear, well reasoned, with appropriate expressions of doubt uncertainty and scepticism that come from approaching the subject rationally.

You remind me why i still have faith in humanity!

Hopefully those amongst the HBS movement like yourself and those in the group you speak of can prevail over the voices of those too often representing the movement online who very much give it an undeserved bad name.

Anonymous said...

evey said: "I don't care what it's named. I just care that we aren't lumped in with the T* world."

I agree

Nerissa said...

Following is my ban e-mail from the owner of TS-Specific_Movement Moderator . I was a member less than a week and was booted for saying I'd defend the rights of everyone and not just "real" transsexuals.

Bet you didn't know to be a real woman you had to be a conservative Christian and non-feminist. My three sisters will be sad to hear they do not qualify as women. Of course we all need to notify the women we know who enjoy dressing sensuously and/or having non plain vanilla sex they no longer qualify as women either.

We all know the HBS group members are doing gender queer stuff in a closeted fashion as with so many other conservatives.



You are banned for any of the following:

1. Causing trouble, interfering with or bashing the purpose of our group.

2. Having any references or links to sex or fetish interests in your profile or screen name. This
includes BDSM, fetishism, and nude profile pics.

True TSs find these degrading, so if you find it enjoyable, you are likely a TG instead of a TS.

This rule also includes posting links or having links in your profile that shows skimpy dress, ie., the buttocks are hanging out, panty pics, or upskirt pics. Those are parts of TG culture, not TS culture. We will not tolerate ANY element of TG culture in our
group. There are no warnings nor second-chances.

3. Openly disrespecting the group or the group owner/moderator.

4. Interfering with the actions of the moderators.

5. Bringing elitism to the group. We do not care how many years you have been a TS or postop.
Blaming those in unfortunate conditions for their plight is a particularly evil form of elitism.

6. Not being a transsexual. This is a TS-specific movement. That means we want no admirers, no
crossdressers, no TGs, no non-op, no shemales, no "sissies," or any other non-TS here. CDers and TGs
can never become TSs. TSs are born with a birth defect, TGism and CDing are choices. TSism is a part
of the mainstream culture, TGism is a part of queer culture.

If you are an "MtF" showing male parts in your profile, you are not a transsexual, as transsexuals
deeply hate what they were born with below.

7. Making bigoted and hate-filled comments against Christians, transsexuals, those who live stealthed lives, victims of crimes, and/or Conservatives. That
is what the LGBT community does, and that is partly why so many hate them.

8. Using this group which is only for TS issues to attempt to promote unrelated and irrelevant lifestyles such as homosexuality, BDSM, polygamory, bestiality,
TGism, pedophilia, etc. Frequent discussion of unrelated controversial issues could also earn a ban.

9. Degrading oneself, calling oneself a sissy. Women, including MtF TSs don't refer to themselves
in degrading ways, just "MtF" TG and CDing men do this. If you see dressing as a woman shameful or degrading, we don't want you around us. If you have to be forced to be a woman, you are not a TS, but a man with a sick fantasy.

10. Having references to dating TGs, TVs, TSs, or "sissies" in your profile.

11. Any reason at all. The moderators reserve the right to ban ANYONE at ANYTIME for ANY reason.

When you joined, you read the opening screen that had the rules of this group. The rules state that this is a TS-specific movement and that ALL TG/LGBT/feminist influences and members will be kept out. By joining this group after passing that screen, you implicitly
were agreeing to the rules.


Anonymous said...

Nerissa: the irony of that ban is delicious. I refer to the section that mentions elitism.

Nicky said...

As an intersex, my view on HBS, is that, at the moment the intersex community can't consider HBS to be an intersex condition. They won't recognize HBS as an intersex condition or part of the intersex community.

HBS dose not have any genetic component to such as a DNA structure and the genetic DNA coding to be considered intersex.

HBS lacks the genetic DNA, the testing that is researched, tested, and duplicated by other scientist and researchers.

See, to be intersex, you have to have a valid genetic DNA medical condition. You have to have a proven DNA karyotype that shows you have a genetic DNA medical condition and that the condition has to meet a set of criteria by the medical science and academic science community.

For me, I don't consider HBS to be an intersex condition at all. Their is no genetic DNA, no karyotype and the idea of "neurological intersex" dose not fly well with me and their basing their existence on a theory that hasn't be tested, duplicated or proven by any other researcher.

Mora said...

Hi all (=
Well, i´ll make some myth-shredding here, cause i see there´s too much missinformation and fantasies around the HBS movement..
I´ll try to make it understandable 4 everyone who read my english ^^
Ok here i go….call me stupid/innocent but here i go…

HBS people feel important being HBS people? As much as any male or female between millions does feel…or not.
Are HBS people extremely passable and perfect? Hell yeah, i could pass the door of Miss Universe contest….running wild on a bike.
HBS doesn´t exists? Well, I live with HBS.
HBS it´s the same as TG? TG´s got few things in common with a woman´s life. They demonstrates it continuously with their social behaviours. Being @ transition it´s a neverending trip. Being woman it´s an unexplainable thing that only another woman can understand or guess, and it happens here & now all the time you like it or not.
All HBS´s people are pure-illuminatti-hitlerian-sectarists-beautiful-passable-rich-perfect-aseptic-NWO-arian-saint-choosen-ones-etc-etc-etc?
Yeaaaaah sure….all this and even more. We are soooo elitists, that we train our dogs to bark at TG targets at the streets...
HBS people impulses genre theories? Yes, as much as a simple man or a woman does!
Why HBS people doesn´t identifies as TG? Because there must be something different deep inside that makes us feel same as mainstream females/males and that we can not hide.
It´s this fact a sin? Absolutely NOT, but… this is what LGBT community hates about us: they can not accept that we feel and realize as female or male, nothing else.
We found (this is seriously true) a total rejection and hate from LGBT groups all over the world, regarding our identification as the mainstream binary gender identity. It´s not our choice, we just feel that way and can not neglect it. It´s a classic: you are talking on a TG group, you say “me? Oh, im just a girl” and they start all that bullying and try to convince you being TG and they finally kick you out from their community and say that you nazi offended them. This is what happens when HBS people talk with TG´s. Then they say we are discriminators.
and i personally find 1000 times more acceptation from “biologic” people than from LGBT world.
My LGBT therapist: _but why? Why you just don´t identify yourself as transvestite or a trans girl? There´s nothing bad in being a transsexual!
Me: _ok, if it´s sooo good, so why don´t YOU accept you´re a transvestited also!?
4th and last session with her. I found now a therapist who´s totally out from LGBT issues, and i tell you is the best choice i made in years beside HRT. Therapy with that LGBT transgender “specialist” driven me into a very deep depression, i wanted to end this all as many of you know.
I wish some of you could understand that we (TG´s and HBS´s) need different diagnosis protocols. I really dream with every thing in it´s right place one day, and just live peaceful…i dont know if some tg´s person think sometimes like this…
(it continues below)

Mora said...

All this myths sometimes get me sad, and sometimes makes me rofl so much and sometimes both. I wish one of you feel for a time what it feels like to have HBS, for a few days. STOP, i´m not the victim here, only i wanna say that if you walk on this shoes for a time, you´ll know why we need to separate from TG and LGBT world.
We don´t hate LGBT/TG, that´s a difamation about us… what happened is that those groups rejected our feelings of being female/male and they acted with hate first, trying to “transform” us same as they are. We defended our feelings and will keep doing because you can´t kill a feeling and you know it. I knew some TG people and they are cool and good persons, and surely they must be some HBS people whom, better keep away ….just as anyone else in this world!

I didn´t had genital surgery yet, i don´t really knoe where the hell i´ll get the money to pay my surgery & thnx god i get my hormones and medical checkings for free, via the government of my state.
I live with my parents, a simple life, my “friends” leaved me without explanations, except a few female dear ones…i study ******* hey! i won´t tell that (=
i´m not into any religion or creed, not my thing. But i do believe in something big. And i just want to be happy living my dreams as any girl dreams everyday.

I entered to HBS groups, frankly, knowing not so much about this, and quickly readed the standards of care and get in touch with other people who feels the same. Understood their pain as they understood mine. We never meet each other and thousands of Kms. separates us all…i mean, i entered the groups knowing a s**t about this, and step by step i recognized every point on it. It´s like i was driven into my childhood again, because it was exactly what i felt all my life, and H.Benjamin knew this many years before i came to this world. I mean…TG´s issues/experiences are very similar sometimes beside HBS, but this was scary exactly. For the 1st time i found what was really happening with myself. Time to get the solutions, and here i am facing the days.

Ending, i surely have very less advantages than thousands of TG´s who yes can i.e. mantain a job and have access to those incredible expensive surgeries and some other social advantages. So, i dont know where´s the supposed “elitism” and perfect life that you award on us…i really dont know.
OK, I tried here to be realistic and sincere, not wanted to offend anyone, if someone goes offended, kiss you all and i´ll never write here again.