Sunday, 12 October 2003

Dear Leader.....

"Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery". After reading "the Lost Art of Correspondence", I decided to write my own letter to Kim Jong Il, using the convenient page the DPRK provides on the web.

To: Esteemed Dear Leader Kim Jong Il
Democratic People's Republic of Korea
11 October 2003 (Juche 75)

From: Alan Edwin Brain
Position: Moderator, Immortal Juche Study Branch, POEE
Country : Australia

Fraternal Greetings to the Dear Leader who is truly like a Big Brother to us.

We follow in your footsteps: Leader Command, We Follow You.

All goodthinking peoples here appreciate the new highs in Society that have
been produced by importation of the DPRK's finest processed agricultural
, all due to the inspiration and selfless devotion of the Dear Leader.

Our Breatharian Party here has adopted the scientific insights of the
General Secretary's inspirational agricultural policy that has done so much
to put the Democratic People's Republic of Korea in the situation it is in
today. The Internationally-acclaimed Prize for Literature that our Sister
Jasmuheen was awarded in 2000 more properly belongs to the Dear Leader whose
insights guided her work. All followers of Juche are informed by the Dear
Leader, Kim Jong Il about every particle of knowledge. As we say in the Australian
idiom "All Goodthinking Followers of Juche are particularly Il-Informed".

The Capitalist American Running-Dogs of Oppression boast of their
"Shock and Awe" agression against the peace-loving peoples of the
world. But their "Awe" is nothing, less than nothing compared
to our Saviour, the Dear Leader, without doubt the most Awe-full leader
the world has ever seen.

Sincerely, Alan E Brain
And I truly mean that.

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