Fun with Colloids

I never knew you could do this with custard.

Australia and Malaysia

A piece brought to my attention by Little Green Footballs. From News Limited :

Malaysia's controversial leader, Mahathir Mohamad, continued his war of words with the West yesterday when he vowed to treat Australia as a "terrorist" if it acted like a US sheriff in the region.

Dr Mahathir - already under fire for remarks this week in which he said that "Jews rule the world" - was responding to reported comments by US President George Bush saying Australia was America's "sheriff" in South-East Asia.

"I can assure Australia that if it acts as a sheriff in this country it will be treated as a terrorist and dealt with as a terrorist," he said.

Here's what Australia's PM, John Howard, said, quoted in the same article:

"The more co-operation there can be, the better," Mr Howard said before he left Sydney.

"In many ways, co-operation between Australia and Indonesia and Singapore and other countries in the region is a template for what the wider world should do."

Note the omission of a certain country beginning with "M"?

Sometimes what's not said is more important as what is said.

Australia, unlike the USA, the UK, and France, has only got one foreign base in the world. One. To have a foreign base on one's own soil requires a rare degree of trust. Australia's one foreign base is RAAF Butterworth, near Penang, in Malaysia.

I repeat, sometimes what's not said is more important as what is said.

Who knew?

The Thing is Jewish

Something is Rotten in the State of France

There is an ancient and honourable pastime in much of the Anglophone world. It's called "Frog-Bashing", and consists of poking good-natured and not-so-good-natured fun at France and all things French. The French, bless their little hearts, do much the same thing against "Perfidious Albion" and "le Rosbifs".

From an outsider's viewpoint, France and the UK have so much in common - compared to, say, the Thais and the Chinese - that it's no wonder that the similarities lead to "sibling rivalry". In Germany, for example, English is classified along with other "Latin" languages such as French and Spanish. In France, no doubt, English is looked upon as a Teutonic language, such as German or Danish.

I've been known to engage in this pastime myself. It's racist, but as long as the French give as good as they get (and they do), and no-one takes it too seriously, it's relatively harmless.

But this post is not "Frog-Bashing". It's rather more serious.

Firstly, we have Jacques Chirac (currently evading criminal charges) pronouncing that any criticism of the Malaysian PM's recent Judnehass has "no place in the EU". He has a point - but if so, then the recent pronunciamentos by the German Foreign Minister, and Chirac himself, also have no place. No, this is the same attitude that led to the collaboration with the Nazis in annihilating French Jewry, from the same people that brought you l'Affaire Dreyfuss. It's no surprise that the unspeakable Le Pen and his blackshirts - sorry, his Front National came second in the last presidential elections.

Secondly, we have this little gem, quoted from The Australian :

Two people were injured as protesters disrupted a live prime time French television show, forcing the popular talent contest show off the air.

The injured people were hospitalised and three protesters arrested, a police spokesman said today.

A hundred protesting arts technicians and performers, angered by planned welfare cutbacks in their industry, invaded the stage during the live transmission of the "Star Academy" show in which pop-star hopefuls perform.

Three of the protesters were arrested for violence and public order offences by police in the Seine-Saint-Denis suburb of eastern Paris.

During the protest "there were skirmishes. Two people had to be hospitalised".

No minor scuffle, this.

A hostess of the TF1 channel had her arm broken while the other casualty was one of the protesters. Several others ended up with cuts and bruises, the police said.

Here we have a country that prides itself on its Culture. And the guardians of the culture, the "bleeding Hearts and the Artists" take their stand by publically beating up women and breaking bones. And why?

The actors and technicians have been protesting for months over controversial welfare reforms for the arts industry. Their action forced the cancellation of the summer season's two most prestigious cultural festivals.

An agreement reached by employers and three moderate unions in June was intended to safeguard a unique system, under which performers and technicians in the arts have social protection during long periods without work.

The regime is used by around 100,000 people but it runs at an annual deficit of around $A1.4 billion, and under the changes workers would have to contribute for longer and for less benefit.

Two hardline unions CGT and FO have led a campaign of strikes and demonstrations against the accord.

Such an "income equalisation" policy seems perfectly rational - Australia does much the same with Farmers, taking more money when times are good, and doling it out in times of drought. (It's actually done by allowing farmers to pay tax on their "average" income) But it's revenue-neutral. Over the long term, you can only get out what you put in.

The problem with the French "panem et circenses" is that they have not been adequately funded, because not enough money has been raised from those who dine at the public trough. This privileged elite naturally wish to remain in their aristocratic position, subsidised by the peasants. And they are willing to commit any form of mayhem in order to get their own way.

Students of French history in the late 30's will recognise the situation. The malaise is recurring.

They used to call it "The English Disease."

Lunar Colonisation

I've been considering the Chinese Space Programme, and the more I look at it, the more I think the Devil is in the details.

There's been a lot of pooh-poohing of the latest Chinese space exploit. As well as a lively debate (and a real stinker of a pun) on what it all means:

For the Chinese it's a very historic event, said Marcia Smith, a policy analyst at the Congressional Research Service in Washington, D.C. "It demonstrates that they have the technological ability to put humans into space. Where it all leads, I think it's still up in the air," Smith said.

Ouch! Well I warned you about the pun. To continue:

The Chinese have discussed plans for their human spaceflight program, Smith said, that includes building space stations and maybe, some day, even sending people to the Moon. "Those are very expensive endeavors and time will tell whether or not they consider that to be a worthwhile investment."

I think Matt Bille is closer, but still not quite on-target:

"It has been 42 years since the last time a nation put its first human into space," said Matt Bille, a space historian and analyst for Booz Allen Hamilton in Colorado Springs, Colorado.

"The Chinese have clearly done this very methodically, developing their technology step by step and testing the spacecraft four times before now," Bille noted. "I suspect we are going to see a logical program of building up their capability in low Earth orbit to do long-term stays and focus on earth science, industrial applications, and other capabilities that have some payoff for their economy as well as national pride," he said.

Yes, they've been methodical. This is not some flash-in-the-pan Space Spectacular for no more worthy a goal than National prestige. It's not a Space Race as such - because a Race implies that they're competing against some other entity. No, after consulting my Crystal Ball, taking the auguries, and examining the entrails of a goat, I think they're in it for the long term. I'm not talking about Scientific missions to Mars, or even Exploratory missions to the Moon. I'm talking about setting up a permanent presence. Not next year. Not next decade, nor the one after that. But certainly within the next 50 years. I think that they have a plan. A flexible one, that will adapt to changing circumstances and unforeseeable problems, but a plan nonetheless.

There was no funding for lunar projects in the ten-year space plan approved in 2001. By July 2001 a Chinese aerospace magazine indicated that Chinese scientists had drafted a much more modest four-phase long term plan.
Phase 1, by 2005: Lunar flyby or orbiting satellite missions, perhaps using the DFH-3 bus.
Phase 2, by 2010: unmanned soft-landing missions.
Phase 3, by 2020: Robotic exploration using surface rovers.
Phase 4, by 2030: Lunar sample return missions.
Only after 2030 would manned flights and construction of a lunar base begin.

The Shenzhou manned spacecraft provides the Chinese with the required hardware to pursue a lunar program whenever they make the decision to go.

It would surprise me if the schedule didn't slip. But no matter, there's no hurry. The last sentence in the quote above is important, and it's one of the details I mentioned intially.

Unlike the primitive Mercury "capsule" that Alan Shepard and John Glenn went up in, or the bigger but even more primitive Vostok that Yuri Gargarin orbitted in, the Shenzhou design is almost certainly the most advanced manned spacecraft ever flown.

Remember, the ambitious and hi-tech Shuttle is a 1970s design with some 1980's electronics. The latest Soyuz spacecraft is still only incrementally improved on a 1970s design. And the Apollo - hasn't changed since the mid 70's. We're talking very primitive electronics indeed.

The Shenzhou is obviously similar in many ways to the latest Soyuz (Soyuz TMA). But the differences are quite large when examined in detail. Firstly, it's a whole heap bigger. 13% bigger.

The spacecraft strongly resembled the Russian Soyuz spacecraft, and like the Soyuz, consisted of a forward orbital module, a re-entry capsule, and an aft service module. The configuration was very much like the original Soyuz A design of 1962 (itself, in turn, alleged to be very similar to the US General Electric Apollo proposal of the same period). Orientation instruments, evidently consisting of horizon, ion flow and/or stellar/sun sensors, were located at the middle bottom of the service module, as on the Soyuz spacecraft. Two pairs of solar panels on the service and orbital modules had a total area of 36 square metres, indicating average electrical power of over 1.3 kW (nearly three times that of Soyuz and about that of the original Mir base module). Unlike the Soyuz, the orbital module was equipped with its own propulsion, solar power, and control systems, allowing autonomous flight. In the future the orbital modules could also be left behind on the 921-2 space station as additional station modules. A stretched version of the orbital modules was also evidently under consideration as a space station element. The basic spacecraft was capable of manned missions of up to 20 days, with autonomous missions of the orbital module of up to a year.
-Encyclopedia Astronautica

Consider this plan, formulated in the US in the early 90s, using "off the shelf" Apollo hardware to make a relatively swift and cheap return to the Moon. Shenzhou could be even more suitable - not as swift, but even cheaper.

Along the way, the Chinese will have to build a space station, practice Earth Rendezvous, send up and construct a Lunar mission out of a number of smaller payloads, and develop a "kicker" booster to take the whole thing to the Moon. Something along the lines of the US Centaur E. They'll also have to develop landers, firstly robot ones, and supply vessels. Probably some lunar orbitting satellites for pinpoint navigation and communications.

But they then get to do a bit of colonising of their own.

This is not going to be all that expensive, providing the long-term view is taken, and there's no radical urgency to be short-term penny-wise and long-term pound-foolish, or gain a few weeks on the schedule by drowning problems in a sea of dollars. And, as a "spin-off", China gets prestige, more hard currency from launching commercial satellites, a significant military recon capability, independence from relying on GPS, and who knows, maybe money from space tourism. Technologies that they'll develop along the way may well spur Chinese industrial capabilities too, as they did in the US and USSR.

My Crystal Ball says that the Chinese remember Zheng He, () and won't make that particular mistake again.

I could easily be wrong, but I calls 'em how I sees 'em.

Comments

I got a good chuckle out of your calling my post about China's First Human
Spaceflight "pooh-poohing." I believe that is the first time in my life I
have ever been accused of pooh-poohing something. While I would personally
call my attitude towards the event ambivalence, you definitely wrote about
an aspect of the story that I missed: What the future plans of the Chinese
are (or could be) in space.

I always enjoy reading your writing. Keep up the good work.

::Mark Oakley

My Opia

Last time I saw an Ear-Nose-and-Throat specialist, he showed me how to read the CAT scan that I'd had, pointed out where the abnormalities in my sinusses were, and cheerfully concluded that I was a Mutant.

Well, I knew that.

I can still hear sounds of over 19 Khz, when most people lose the ability to hear much over 15 by the time they're in their twenties. And my eyes are sensitive to the near Ultra-Violet, so I can see patterns in Daisies that other people can't, and can see really well on cloudy days. This last condition is surprisingly common.

But it has its downsides. My eyesight has been visibly (sorry) deteriorating over the years, and it was about time I visited an Optometrist. He didn't take long to make a diagnosis. -1.25, -1.00 x 75 in one eye, -1.25, -1.00 x 105 in the other. Still safe enough to drive without glasses, but not by much.

I was intrigued by the prescription. What do those numbers mean? Well the first one (-1.25) says that I have mild myopia. Things at less than 1 metre I can see really well (useful if you're spending most of your day at a computer screen, like I do). But at 2 metres, there's a barely noticeable difference, and at 20 metres, a noticeable one.

The second number (-1.00) says that I have mild Astigmatism. That means that I see things wider than they really are. The other numbers specify the orientation of the distortion of my cornea.

There's a good simulator of myopia and a simulator of astigmatism on the web. Adjust the slider to about mid-way between "normal" and "moderate" to see what I see without glasses.

Of course normal people get less myopic as they get older. In fact, many get so long-sighted they need reading glasses. I have the opposite problem. *sigh*

Now for a swift digression on Optics and the way the Brain works: Examine the picture below :

Watch the bee travel from the flower to the edge of your screen.

Now close your LEFT eye, and line up your right eye so it's looking straight ahead at the flower, about 30 cm (1 ft) away.

Keep looking...

The Bee will disappear at one point, and reappear later.

This is because of you "blind spot", an area of your vision where you can't actually see anything - what happens is that your brain automatically "fills in" the missing area by just extending the things around it. In this case, the bee vanishes, and the brain uses the grey line to fill in the place where the bee is.

Blastoff!

From the ABC :

China has launched its first manned space flight, becoming only the third country to put a man into orbit.

Lift-off from the Gobi desert was at 9:00am local time (11:00am AEST), the start of a mission that it is hoped will rocket China into the exclusive space club pioneered by the former Soviet Union and United States four decades ago.

A Long March 2F rocket called the Shenzhou V - "divine ship" in Chinese - carried a single "taikonaut" named Yang Liwei, 38, following a trail blazed by Russian cosmonaut Yuri Gagarin and American Alan Shepard in 1961.

"I feel good and my conditions are normal," Xinhua quotes Lieutenant-Colonel Yang as saying.

Chinese state television says the spacecraft has entered Earth orbit.

The rocket is to orbit the Earth 14 times before returning after about 21 hours.

Weird Wide Web

Conclusive proof (with lots of graphics) that Paul is Dead

And Smeagol Sings the Blues

That leads me to reporting a discussion Carmel and I had while watching snatches of "The Two Towers" in between tickle games with Andrew over the weekend.

On one side, you have the oppressive landed Aristocracy, on the other side the beginnings of an Industrial Revolution. One based on renewable energy resources, such as forests and water wheels. Some Hi-Tech genetic engineering. All Appropriate Technology. The "Powers That Be" want to keep the status quo, while there in Barad-Dur, all Sauron wants to do is recover Stolen Property.

Which reminds me of the Great Tolkein Society Putsch at Sydney University in the late 70's.

> They all sound like communists to me. But then again,
> I can't tell the difference between Trotskyites and
> Stalinists either.

Oh I can. Came in handy during my university politics days, when a bunch of us got fed up by the antics of the looney
and rather violent left who were running the local student union (and running it into the ground).
I won't go into the details - just that Tony Abbot's ultra-conservative but conventional Liberal party machine (the main opposition to them) was left out in the cold, and the Tolkein Society staged a putsch. Ah, the days of getting the Maoists to fight (sometimes literally) the Spartacists, while the Tolkein-George Formby-Formalin-Gay Lib secret alliance quietly gathered the numbers...
Truth is stranger even than SJ's Illuminati game when lots of otherwise apathetic people get prodded into action.
And the professional demonstrators and rent-a-thug political meeting disruptors hadn't got the Tolkein Society
on their scopes. Let alone the George Formby Appreciation Society.
I still can't believe that a nebbish like Tony Abbot could possibly become a senior Govt Minister BTW. But there he is.

The Two Follow-Ups are even more weird, But true.

We basically ignored student politics, until our (compulsory) union fees started being diverted to the PLO to buy guns. The Student's Union had a turnover of about $6 million at the time - big bucks in the mid 70s.
And who cared what they said, as long as the student facilities weren't allowed to fall into disrepair. But soon they were. The money was going elsewhere, in large amounts. Well, maybe OK, as long as it was to a good cause, like students welfare.
But when they proudly announced the proportion going to the PLO and INLA...no. No longer a joke. Time to act. It wasn't just the AJS (Australian Jewish Students) who were unimpressed.
The Goon Squad the Trots sent to "make sure the people's voice was heard" by the electoral returning officer were physically blocked by a much, much larger crowd of Gay Activists, Militant Ukelele-players singing "When I'm Cleaning Winders", and people wearing "University of Mordor" or "Crush Elvish Imperialism!" T-shirts. The ballot boxes remained unstuffed and un-tampered-with.
The incoming Student's Union president was vice-president of the TolSoc, and the new SU vice-president was the head of Gay Lib.

The president of the TolSoc? He was the electoral returning officer.(jeez, what did these people think we were, stupid?)

[...]

What are these groups? Dramatis Personae:

Gay Lib - In the middle 70s, prejudice against homosexuals was at least as common as racial prejudice in the 1920s. It was often expressed in bashings, or even jail sentences for private acts between consenting adults. Gay Lib was a group (ultimately successful) that campaigned for at least tolerance, if not full acceptance. It was thanks to their efforts that the Sydney Gay Mardi Gras came into being - one of the world's great annual parties. Gay Lib provided us with a solid power base - about 5% of the student body.

Tolkein Society (TolSoc)- Founded in the 60's, even before JRRT became popular with the hippies in the US, the Tolkein Society ran (and still does AFAIK) the annual "Tolkeinfest", a play performed in the University's Great Hall. Often "Farmer Giles of Ham" or one of JRRT's lesser known works.
With the release of the new movie LOTR, there'll be a blaze of T-shirts, caps, all the usual commercial hoohah. But the "University of Mordor" T-shirts showed the University's crest, subtly changed (the centre star replaced by a lidless eye), and were homemade silkscreen jobs. The "Crush Elvish Imperialism" ones were similar, showing a hord of Orcs protesting against Lawful Goodness. D&D was new then - it hit Australia in 1975 - and only a few knew about it, or played it. It sure confused the radical leftists, they weren't in on the joke.

The TolSoc was the "Illuminati" of the picture, controlling the putsch (did I say the head of Gay Lib was a senior member of the TolSoc?). People who played RPGs as Chaotics were really good at figuring out how to hornswaggle the radicals.

Formalin - "To preserve the University Union" - an extremely Conservative or rather Conservationist party, who just wanted student facilities to be preserved intact, not sold off to get money to send to radical causes overseas. This was both a cover for the others, being a recognised political party and thus able to propose candidates for election, and a honeypot to attract the attentions of the Trots, Maoists, Anarchists and others who had a habit of barging in and interrupting meetings. Often the hecklers, stooges and infiltrators were the only participants at the official meetings, as far as I can tell. Never attended any, myself.

George Formby Appreciation Society - I'll see if I can find a URL. GF was an entertainer of the late 30s and early 40's, who strummed a Ukelele and sang such classics as "Imagine Me in the Maginot Line, sitting in a mine in the Maginot Line", and "When I'm cleaning Winders", his signature tune. This was the second level of cover, between Formalin and the TolSoc.

Ah, the world of Student Politics. And now Carmel (who works in the Department of Health) has as her Minister... Tony Abbot. As my good mate Spider Robinson says, "God is an Iron".

Any Day Now

As mentioned in several previous posts, China's about to send its first crewed space mission up. From Space Daily :

China began drumming up nationalistic sentiment Monday with days to go before its maiden manned space flight, as leading officials said it was just the first step to greater achievements.

The state-controlled media floodgates appear to have been opened by China officially acknowledging late Friday that it would join the United States and Russia in sending a man into orbit this week.

More details, also fromSpace Daily :

After months of secrecy, China confirmed Friday it will launch its maiden manned space mission next week with a flight that will orbit the Earth 14 times.

The Xinhua news agency cited an unnamed official in charge of the country's manned spaceflight program as saying Shenzhou V will blast off from the Jiuquan Satellite Launch Center in the northwest between October 15 and 17.

He said the craft would orbit the Earth 14 times, suggesting the flight will last 21 hours.

This would distinguish China from the former Soviet Union and the United States, the only other nations to send a man into space, whose maiden flights in the 1960s lasted 108 minutes and 15 minutes respectively.
[...]
China has appeared caught in a dilemma over the imminent launch as it tries to balance the secretive needs of its military with the overwhelming propaganda mileage and national pride that would accrue with a successful mission.

Experts believe just one astronaut will make the trip, selected from a team of 14.
[...]
The Jiefang Daily, quoting chief designer for the Shenzhou spacecraft Qi Faren, said all possibilities had been factored in.

"The craft may land in the ocean or in the forests in a hostile environment," said Qi in comments picked up by a host of Chinese websites.

"For the safety of the astronauts, they will take a lot of things with them like a pistol, knife and other rescue equipment including a tent and liferaft so they will be able to deal with wild beasts, sharks and other dangerous animals or enemies."

If all goes well, Shenzhou V is expected to land in the vast plains of Inner Mongolia in northwest China.

Four unmanned Shenzhou capsules have so far been been launched since 1999.

Best of luck. Zhu nin hao yun.

Internet Time

Here's a story from Yahoo News, quoted by the Wall Street Journal on Opinion Journal "Best of the Web", also the Minneapolis Star-Tribune and many blogs. Not forgetting Overlawyered.

A teenager was disciplined for sharing medication used to treat asthma, but he said it saved his girlfriend's life, News2Houston reported Wednesday.
Andra Ferguson and her boyfriend, Brandon Kivi, both 15, use the same type of asthma medicine, Albuterol Inhalation Aerosol.

Ferguson said she forgot to bring her medication to their school, Caney Creek High School, on Sept. 24. When she had trouble breathing, she went to the nurse's office.

Out of concern, Kivi let her use his inhaler.

"I was trying to save her life. I didn't want her to die on me right there because the nurse's office (doesn't) have breathing machines," Kivi said.

"It made a big difference. It did save my life. It was a Good Samaritan act," Ferguson said.

But the school nurse said it was a violation of the district's no-tolerance drug policy, and reported Kivi to the campus police.

The next day, he was arrested and accused of delivering a dangerous drug. Kivi was also suspended from school for three days. He could face expulsion and sent to juvenile detention on juvenile drug charges.

The mothers of both teenagers are angry.

"My son will not go to jail. This is ridiculous," said Theresa Hock, Kivi's mother. "I believe he shouldn't be punished at all because he was helping her. She was in distress."

"If he hadn't helped her, she would have passed out or died or something because her asthma's been really bad this year," said Sandra Ferguson, Andra's mother.

The school principal said he couldn't do anything about it since Kivi not only broke school rules, but also allegedly violated state law.

"It's simply a matter that it's classified as a dangerous drug. It's an inhaler form, but yet, if it had been in pill form or any other, it's still classified as a dangerous drug," said Greg Poole, the Caney Creek principal.

"Would Caney Creek had want Andra to have died rather than my son to help her?" Hock said.

Poole said the nurse never considered Andra to be in a life-threatening situation.

The school district will hold a hearing on the matter Friday.

Well, before I started commenting, I thought I'd do a bit of checking. So I wrote an e-mail to the School Principal. Within a few hours, I got a very courteous reply. Here's a quote from it, used with explicit permission:

• No student was ever in any life-threatening situation. Student confidentiality does not permit us to be specific but it has already been reported in a Houston paper that the student in question went to the clinic for a minor headache. During both incidents, three clinic personnel were present including a registered nurse.
• No student was ever expelled. We had a mandatory expulsion hearing where we could finally use discretion. Our decision is that while the student's actions could have been harmful, it does not merit expulsion. So why was it portrayed as an expulsion? State law requires an automatic expulsion hearing when dangerous drugs are involved.
• No student is "in jail". The police are forced by mandatory
  requirements to send the case to the juvenile system but they did not accept the case based on our expulsion hearing.

Is this much ado about nothing? No. It is sad that our nurses and police do not have more discretion without violating the law. Where is the common sense? Our answer is that common sense did prevail. It just did not happen with internet-like speed. The system is set up to err on the side of caution when drugs are involved. It is also sad that many have labeled our school because of erroneous information.

There's a man who can take the time and trouble to write a courteous note to someone all the way in Australia, while putting out the fires of a blaze of publicity at home. And be tactful in telling me I was full of it. If ever he gets tired of being principal of a Texas High School, I'd suggest the rather less demanding job of Secretary of State. Good on you, Doctor Poole.

It's an interesting world where an overly-hyped story can get out so quickly, but also where someone on the other side of the planet can do some checking and myth-exploding, all within less than a week.

Comments

While contacting one of the interested parties in a dispute is certainly worth doing, doesn't it usually get called "getting the other side", rather than "fact checking"? It's not as though the Principle of the school is a disinterested observer, after all...
::Brett Bellmore

Next Year's Ignobel Prize for Physics

I'm not a betting man, but if I was, this is what I'd bet on for next year's Ig Nobel Prize for Physics. From Loughborough University :

A PhD student from Loughborough University has discovered why biscuits sometimes break-up after being baked. Published today in the Institute of Physics journal Measurement Science and Technology this discovery will help manufacturers work out how to make the perfect biscuit and also avoid the costly exercise of having to discard biscuits that don't meet the high demands of their customers.

Biscuits such as the ?Rich Tea? type sometimes develop cracks spontaneously up to a few hours after baking, making the biscuit liable to break under the application of small loads such as being packaged or transported to supermarkets. Consumers often misinterpret this as due to mishandling. Qasim Saleem and his colleagues set out to understand exactly why these cracks occur in order to help biscuit manufacturers avoid this costly phenomenon.

They used an optical technique called 'digital speckle pattern interferometry' to look at the surface of a biscuit as it cools to room temperature after baking. This technique involves illuminating the surface of an object with a laser beam, studying the scattered light this beam produces, and is sensitive enough to detect the very small deformations that evolve as a biscuit cools.

They found that as a biscuit cools down after coming out of the oven, it picks up moisture around the rim which causes the biscuit to expand while at the same time loss of moisture at the centre of the biscuit causes it to contract. This difference results in the build-up of strain and associated forces which act to pull the biscuit apart, and which ultimately can be released by developing cracks or final break-up. These cracks make the biscuit weaker than it ought to be and so very easy to break apart when handled, moved or packaged. Manufacturers currently tackle this by removing the offending products before they reach the customers, but no quality control system is perfect and so biscuits with these minor cracks often end up in packets of biscuits that reach the customer.

Qasim Saleem said, "We now have a greater understanding of why biscuits develop cracks shortly after being baked. This will help biscuit manufacturers adjust the humidity or temperature of their factory production lines to change the cooling process in such a way that the biscuits won't break up due to normal handling and hence producing the perfect biscuit".

Remember, you read it here first.

Remembrance of Bali

One year ago, today. From Redgum's song :

Tourists from Holland, Britain and France
Late night puppet shows, leg on dance
Want to see my slides?
I've been to Bali too.

We may forgive - if repentance is shown. But we won't forget.

88 of the 202 known deaths in the bombing of the Sari nightclub in Bali were Australian. More Balinese may have gone home to die, and not been recorded. But there were another 450 burns victims too, some of whom still haven't made as complete a recovery as they're going to. Some of whom are missing legs, or arms, or eyes.

Proportionately to Australia's population, Bali was very much our 9/11. Pretty much everyone here knew one of the victims, or lived on the same street. Even now, when I last posted an article overseas, I heard two people in the queue discussing how a friend of theirs was doing.

My 2-year old son Andrew had to wait several months for some corrective surgery, because every single plastic surgeon in the country was busy treating the hundreds of burns victims. We stayed up with him, night after night, as he cried in pain. Pain that grew worse, day by day.

He's fixed up now. But I'll never forget.

It may take 20, 50, 100 years, or even longer, but we intend to make radical Islamofascism extinct. The planet isn't big enough for the both of us.

We've started by financing hospitals in Bali, to say "thanks" for all the help the locals gave us.
We've started by financing educational facilities in Indonesia, as an alternative to the Saudi-financed Madrassas that spawned the Islamofascist movement in SE Asia.
We've started by giving professional forensic help that gave the Indonesia police the evidence they needed to decimate JI.
And we've started by sending in the SAS into Iraq - going after the "Safe Havens", with malice aforethought. Terror knows no bounds, but neither do we.

It's a start.

Dear Leader.....

"Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery". After reading "the Lost Art of Correspondence", I decided to write my own letter to Kim Jong Il, using the convenient page the DPRK provides on the web.

To: Esteemed Dear Leader Kim Jong Il
Democratic People's Republic of Korea
E-mail: korea@korea-dpr.com
11 October 2003 (Juche 75)

From: Alan Edwin Brain
Position: Moderator, Immortal Juche Study Branch, POEE
Country : Australia
E-mail: aebrain@webone.com.au

Fraternal Greetings to the Dear Leader who is truly like a Big Brother to us.

We follow in your footsteps: Leader Command, We Follow You.

All goodthinking peoples here appreciate the new highs in Society that have
been produced by importation of the DPRK's finest processed agricultural
products, all due to the inspiration and selfless devotion of the Dear Leader.

Our Breatharian Party here has adopted the scientific insights of the
General Secretary's inspirational agricultural policy that has done so much
to put the Democratic People's Republic of Korea in the situation it is in
today. The Internationally-acclaimed Prize for Literature that our Sister
Jasmuheen was awarded in 2000 more properly belongs to the Dear Leader whose
insights guided her work. All followers of Juche are informed by the Dear
Leader, Kim Jong Il about every particle of knowledge. As we say in the Australian
idiom "All Goodthinking Followers of Juche are particularly Il-Informed".

The Capitalist American Running-Dogs of Oppression boast of their
"Shock and Awe" agression against the peace-loving peoples of the
world. But their "Awe" is nothing, less than nothing compared
to our Saviour, the Dear Leader, without doubt the most Awe-full leader
the world has ever seen.

Sincerely, Alan E Brain

And I truly mean that.

More on Microsoft Security

Or should that be Moron? From one of my favourite blogs, Silent Running :

And how's this for blame transference?

For example, even computer users who did not install a protective patch for the "Blaster" virus this summer would have been protected if they had known to turn on Windows' built-in firewall, said Mike Nash, a vice president for Microsoft's security business unit.

if they had known to turn on the built in firewall. Which built in firewall for Windows 2000 would that be, Mr. 'It's the Stupid User's fault' Nash? Oh, you mean the one in XP? And who's job is it to let us know what little wondrous functions your software is supposed to perform, anyway? The frikkin tooth fairy? How about the Vendor, which, surprise, is YOU buckwheat. And when do we find out about this? When you geniuses realized there was a hole the size of the Grand Canyon in your code? Nope. In a quote from a pompous corporate suit in the depths of a PR article two months after some basement dwelling fat kid wreaked havoc on the Internet!

Based on the play book they seem to be using, look for Microsoft to appoint a new Prime Minister for Security, only to have him resign within a couple of months in a power struggle for control with Bill Gates.

Two Minutes Hate

From Orwell's 1984 :

The next moment a hideous, grinding speech, as of some monstrous machine running without oil, burst from the big telescreen at the end of the room. It was a noise that set one's teeth on edge and bristled the hair at the back of one's neck. The Hate had started.

Now please go here. [Warning: Multi-Megabyte Quicktime Movie]

The horrible thing about the Two Minutes Hate was not that one was obliged to act a part, but, on the contrary, that it was impossible to avoid joining in. Within thirty seconds any pretence was always unnecessary. A hideous ecstasy of fear and vindictiveness, a desire to kill, to torture, to smash faces in with a sledge-hammer, seemed to flow through the whole group of people like an electric current, turning one even against one's will into a grimacing, screaming lunatic. And yet the rage that one felt was an abstract, undirected emotion which could be switched from one object to another like the flame of a blowlamp.

From the Korean News May 23 2002:

It happened in one day of April Juche 64 (1975), one day before the birthday of President Kim Il Sung.

Kim Jong Il acquainted himself with the holiday preparations being made by the young people building the historic revolutionary site on Mt. Wangjae.

He has already sent a lot of meat, canned goods, confectionery, fruits, etc. to them. yet, he was lost in a deep thought that this was not enough for them.

He called an official and instructed him to send the first harvest of cucumbers from a greenhouse to the builders working hard in the site. He told him to airlift the cucumbers so that they might reach there before their breakfast on April 15.

Sitting at the sumptuous breakfast table next morning, they were deeply moved to hear a touching story about the fresh cucumbers before them.

Dear Leader is watching You.

UPDATE : And apparently reading you as well.

Weird Wide Web

A visit to the Museum of Depressionist Art.

A selection of Educational Games.

The noxious, such as "Ethnic Cleansing"

...a racist computer game developed by Resistance Records, an underground music label specializing in Neo-Nazi and white supremacist bands. In the game, the protagonist (the player can choose either a skinhead or a Klansman) runs through a ghetto murdering black people, before descending into a subway system to murder Jews. Finally he reaches the "Jewish Control Center", where Ariel Sharon, Prime Minister of Israel, is directing plans for world domination. The player must kill Sharon to win the game.

The saccharine, such as "Christian Founders"

You control Uncle Sam as he traverses buildings, stairs and even patriotic drums! Along the walls are paintings of America's Christian founders. Be sure to examine the ones with Gold Frames. Lesson list includes: Before Independence , Independence , Christianity in Early American Society, Christianity of The Founders, Christianity in Government, Patrick Henry an, Samuel Adams, John Witherspoon, George Washington, John Adams, James Madison, Delegates of New England States, Delegates of Middle States, Delegates of Southern States, The Deist Question

And one genuinely thought-provoking and disturbing one September 12 [Free On-line game, swf Plugin Required]

And for those of us who are constantly being e-mailed by people wanting to offer us $25,000,000, there's the Nigerian Scam Reply Generator. For more harmless fun taunting the sammers, see Scamorama. I particularly like the Chthlhu themed reply. Ftaghn!

Profile on Normblog

The estimable Prof. Norman Geras has just published a profile of yours truly on his blog.
I've found his previous profiles most enlightening, and his multi-part essays on ethical conundra are matched only by the very Beste.
So if you want to meet a Rational Marxist, please go visit the Normblog. Even Right-wing Death Beasts such as myself are made welcome.

Singing Horses, Software Fads and Fashions

I've just read an insightful article on the role of Fads in Software Development.

Some quotes:

Software fashion means "everybody's doing it!" - which in turn means "you're mad if you're not doing it too." A direct consequence (which can also recursively feed back into the hype and overselling) is the inappropriate use of a new product or technology: like using Black & Decker's amazing new UltraHammer to fit a light bulb...
[...]
When hype overtakes a person's ability to appraise a technology objectively, then of course it's going to start to be used for the wrong things.
[...]
XML is best at representing data in a clean and open fashion. Anything more is stretching the point, like sticking a saddle on a pig and calling it a micro-horse. Inevitably, books then start to appear that rationalize the industry's madness, such as Micro-Horse Revealed, Micro-Horse Developer's Guide, or Teach Your Micro-Horse to Sing in 21 Days!

Is this industry-wide insanity down to mass hypnosis? A general tendency for otherwise sane and rational people to apply some bandwagon technology to problem A simply because they heard it's good for problems A-Z (when it was only ever intended to solve problem H)?

The truth, as we shall see, is rather more uncomfortable. The madness wouldn't be possible without a special breed of person . . . the Stupid Fashion Victim.....

There's a lot more besides. For those in the Software Industry, this should be compulsory reading. For those outside it, some of the TLAs (Three Letter Acronyms) and professional jargon will be meaningless symbols, but you should still be able to get an insight into the cluelessness and incompetence that comprises all too much of the industry.

I recently suffered trying to remediate - or at least understand - a system that had fallen victim to this syndrome.

In the software world, some examples of inappropriate usage are: EJB for a small ecommerce app; extreme programming for a short-term project with stable requirements; Struts for a web project where plain old JSP + JavaBeans would do the job handsomely;...

The application was a glorified address-book on the web. Implemented using EJB, and Struts. You don't have to know what EJB and Struts are, take my word for it, it was a bit like using not merely a sledgehammer, but a medium-sized Industrial Park full of million-kg drop-forges to crack a peanut.

Ah me. My poor powers of communication are inadequate to explain the many and varied new technologies with whimsical names like "Java Beans" to those outside the industry. Truth to tell, more than half the people in the Industry don't know what they mean either. That's why I work for a firm that gets a lot of its revenue explaining this stuff: it's not meaningless, nearly all the mystical-sounding tools and techniques are both powerful and useful in the right domain, and the TLA's have very specific meanings, quite simple in themselves, but not always easily explainable in more commonly used terms.

Which leads me to wonder about my own ignorance of many things. To take one example, Knitting. I know the phrase "Knit one, Perl two" but haven't got the foggiest idea what it means. I see people pick up two sticks and some string, and somehow they manage to make a woolen jumper. I've even watched the process. Yet it's more of a mystery to me than, say, the Copenhagen Interpretation of Quantum Physics, the Bell Inequality, and Feynmann diagrams. Not to mention Executable/Translatable UML (Unified Modelling Language) or n-level architectures. Why should Rocket Science be a synonym for "Stuff you need to be a Genius to Understand" when so much Intellect and Talent is deemed unworthy of notice because it's relatively commonplace?

As un-knowable as why an article should come along that tied in some subjects of my blog this week: Pigs, Singing Horses, and Software.

China sets the Date

From the ABC :

Officials in China have named the date for the country's first attempt at a manned space mission, exactly one week away, next Wednesday October 15.

The flight is scheduled to last 90 minutes.

...And perhaps the Horse will learn to Sing.

An epigram :

One of your most ancient writers, a historian named Herodotus, tells of a thief who was to be executed. As he was taken away he made a bargain with the king: in one year he would teach the king's favorite horse to sing hymns. The other prisoners watched the thief singing to the horse and laughed.
"You will not succeed," they told him. "No one can."
To which the thief replied, "I have a year, and who knows what might happen in that time. The king might die. The horse might die. I might die.
And perhaps the horse will learn to sing.
-- "The Mote in God's Eye", Niven and Pournelle.

[Click on horses to hear them]

Only in Australia

From the Sydney Morning Herald's Column 8 :

"It may be dry in the country," says Will Hagon, of Beaconsfield, "but rarely dull". His son, Kym, a vet in Kempsey, got his first patient of the day, a snake. "Poor thing," reports Will, "it needed a head wound patched up. Then its keeper, a herpetologist, said 'It's OK, I've contacted the local hospital, they have anti-venene ready'. Kym understood this warning when told it was a death adder and that even brushing against something its face had touched could kill you with its crystallised venom. So gloves on, some special glue instead of stitches and the snake - clobbered by a billiard cue when released in a pub - was on its way."

The Ethical Treatment of Animals

I'm in a quandary about animal rights.

As a computer scientist who's done a bit of work here and there on Artificial Intelligence, and rather more research on the nature of consciousness and biological nervous systems as computational devices, I've come to some very discomforting conclusions.

Basically, that there is no clean dividing line between "people" on one hand, and "unthinking animals" on the other. Most Humans - even Michael Moore - are people, whereas axolotls are not. But when it comes to the higher mammals, especially ones socialised over a long period by living amongst humans, the situation is far less clear.

This will not come as news to anyone who's had a pet dog or cat. These are people too, at least in some sense. A Frog is more like a toaster than a Dog, but a Dog is more like a Human than a Frog. (Amphibia are basically Not Very Bright, and this can be proven by examining the signals in their nervous system. We could program a desktop computer that would pass the Frog-version of the Turing Test)

I've written some previous posts on artifical augmentation of humans, Cyborgs and Hybrots (scroll down to July 13) and similar matters.

From a recent story about a PETA protest :

A man identifying himself as Derek said: "If we are gonna eat flesh, then let it be flesh raised properly."
[...]
PETA does its best to increase the cost of doing business, and the retail price of meat, by demanding more wing-flapping room, more humane - read expensive - slaughter methods and even mandatory play-toys for pigs," said David Martosko, director of research for the Center for Consumer Freedom.

"If every livestock animal in America were given its own apartment, limousine and personal trainer, PETA would still argue that they have the "right" to not be eaten. Thankfully, most Americans see how ridiculous this position is," Martosko told CNSNews.com.

He's right, that's what PETA is after. But what I'm after is more wing-flapping room, more humane slaughter methods, and yes, mandatory play-toys for pigs, who are as intelligent as some dogs. I'm an omnivore, and so somewhat hypocritical. I like Black Pudding (made with pig's blood), bacon, ham, roast pork with apple sauce. But.. I'd give them all up tomorrow if I thought it might help the lot of the pig. If we're going to slaughter them, let's at least be as hypocritically kind as we can.

From my thesis:

The problems that arise due to the new technology are in figuring out what we ought to do from here. The nice, convenient lines between animate and inanimate are being blurred by Hybots. The equally convenient lines between "Natural" and "Artificial" intelligence are being blurred by Cyborgs. It is now of paramount importance that ethical and philosophical issues that were once safely in the realm of hypothesis be confronted and resolved swiftly, so we don't act wrongly in a moral sense.

The type of question is that posed by Hofstadter (1999) in his "gradual replacement" scenario. In this, Hofstadter proposes the following Gedankenexperiment. Suppose a person with a fully functioning brain is given a series of surgical operations. Each neuron is replaced by a functionally identical inorganic replacement. Given the complexity of behaviour of a single neuron, a single Personal Computer would suffice to adequately model one. After each neuron is replaced, the patient is asked if he is aware, and whether he feels any different. Eventually, the patient's entire central nervous system has been replaced with artificial non-organic components, each faithfully replicating the exact behaviour of its natural antecedent.

When originally posed, this was a useful tool in examining which, if any, of the various theories of Mind (Mind-Body Materialism, Duality, Behaviouralism, Functionality) were most useful, and what their limitations were. But recent events, such as described by Aguilera 1999 and Graham-Rowe 2003 have made this scenario a distinct possibility, at least in part. There is the possibility that relatively simple animals may have their brains replaced wholly or partially by inorganic analogues in order to further understand the nature of Mind, and that this is technologically simpler than dreamed possible even a few years ago. It is also possible that more complex animals, including human beings, may have their minds augmented by inorganic brain prostheses, at first to restore functionality lost to accident or disease, but there appears to be no reason why the augmentation of mind should be limited to restoring what has been lost. But just because we can do something doesn't mean we should do it.

The blurring of the boundaries Life vs. NonLife, Intelligent vs. Unintelligent, Mind vs. No-Mind forces us to consider other issues that have been left very much in the "too hard" basket. Primarily, the one of the ethical treatment of animals.



Consider the two pictures above: On the left, Andrew Brain, Species Homo Sapiens, age 18 months. On the right, Brandy Brain, age 10 years, Species Canis Vulgaris. At this stage of their lives, from personal observation, both are equally intelligent. One is toilet trained, the other not, one can open doors with his hands, the other uses her snout. Andrew still has the playfulness and curiousity of the puppy or child, whereas the other is far better co-ordinated. Both have about the same vocabulary when it comes to speech or understanding what's said to them. Both have very distinct personalities, emotions, and require affection and personal interaction for happiness. The main difference is one of potential. Yet next-door is a halfway house for the severely intellectually disabled. In it are more members of the species Homo Sapiens, most of whom are developmentally on a par with Andrew, perhaps a little less. Some ; the caregivers ; are fully developed normal human beings. They all have very distinct personalities, emotions, and require affection and personal interaction for happiness. The mythical "Man from Mars" who examined this situation would find it difficult to distinguish between any of them, except on reasoning ability. Why should Dogs be put firmly in one category (regardless of intellect), Humans be in another (regardless of intellect)? Is it only Species chauvinism? Or the feeling that any one of us, due to car accident or other brain injury, could become profoundly intellectually impaired, and thus Humans who have limited intellect are thus to be accorded much the same privileges as those with more nous.

These are difficult questions; some organisations that are rightly anathematised as profoundly Evil, such as the National Socialist German Workers Party (Nazis) treated the imbecilic or insane as they treated stray dogs - they were humanely euthenased. In fact, they treated their pet dogs better, although Adolf Hitler's dog Blondi was the first to die by poison in the Fuehrerbunker.

Perhaps we should treat the imbecilic like we treat pet dogs. Or rather, we should treat dogs with the same degree of respect and kindness that we treat the profoundly brain-injured, or 18-month-old infants. But then, where do we draw the line? Cat-aficionados would doubtless require that their companions be accorded equal rights. There is considerable evidence to show that Pigs are at least as intelligent as many Dogs. Should we foreswear the eating of Bacon, Ham and Pork? (Weinstock 1999) Some African Grey parrots have shown the ability to reason abstractly far in advance of either Andrew or Brandy, (Pepperberg 1993), should they be given equivalent rights to three-year-olds? The generally humourous and mocking tone adopted by Weinstock 1999 should not obscure the general issue of things we prefer not to think about:

I don't know about you, but I don't want to be able to communicate with pigs. I'm not a heartless person. I don't want to think that the pig that gave its life for my morning bacon spent its last moments sitting at a computer terminal frantically typing out, "PLEASE DON'T KILL AND EAT ME!! I AM NOT AN ANIMAL! PLEASE!!"
Let's put the professor's computer sign language to work with animals we don't eat. I'd love for my dog to be able to tell me what the hell he's barking at at three in the morning. And I'd really like to know what my cat has to be so uppity about.
Weinstock 1999

One practical problem with according Animal Rights is that the organisations that propagate the meme are often not so much for Animal Rights as against Human Rights. The nineteenth-century "Noble Savage" of Rousseau has been replaced with the "Noble Animal". "People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals" (PETA) recently objected to the use of a Donkey to carry a bomb intended to slaughter dozens of people, purely because an animal was involved as victim. (Ananova 2003).

Ms Newkirk says she has not asked Mr Arafat to try to stop suicide bombings that kill people.
"It's not my business to inject myself into human wars," she told the Washington Post.
Ananova 2003

Other Animal Rights activists are notorious for bombing laboratories using experimental animals, releasing lab animals to die slow painful deaths due to starvation outside their natural habitat, and generally causing ecological havoc.

The problem of Animal Rights becomes acute and immediate when we consider the experimentation currently underway with Hybots. It can be persuasively argued that experimentation with primitive organisms like lampreys (Gugliotta 2001) and spiny lobsters(Aguilera 1999) do not involve "thinking creatures" as such. The fact that some of the neural processing can be replaced by an absurdly simple inorganic equivalent is strong evidence of this. A lamprey or a spiny lobster, despite being organic, may in fact be no more than a self-directing robot. The situation described by Graham-Rowe 2001 is less clear : only a few thousand neurons are used, and from Rat foetuses rather than the fully-developed animal, yet it is this very plasticity and higher level of development that leads one to suspect that the result may "think" in an animal fashion rather than merely be a robot with organic parts. Should such a Hybot be able to navigate a maze, then very troubling ethical issues arise regarding cruelty. We can plausibly avoid the issue when dealing with a non-organic artificial intelligence with the same external behaviour, but we know Rats think. And the situation regarding fully inorganic artificial intelligence is not as clear-cut as it once was, given the experimentation with Cyborgs and prosthetic brain parts. There is potential for suffering on a scale undreamt-of, and for very much longer than a normal lifespan. Call it Hell on Earth. Conversely, there is the possibility that we might fully understand the nature of thought, and resolve the issues of how we should treat animals. We may even be able to augment ourselves to become, if not Gods, perhaps a little more wise as well as intelligent. Call it Heaven on Earth.

References:

Aguilera Mario 1999, UCSD Team Connects Electronic Circuit To Brain Cells Enabling Repair Of Damaged Neurons, Last Updated 7 October 1999, UCSD News, San Diego, CA, Last Viewed 5 May 2003, http://ucsdnews.ucsd.edu/newsrel/science/alobster.htm.

Ananova 2003, Anger over donkey bomb attack, Last Updated 6 February 2003, Last Viewed 30 May 2003, http://www.ananova.com/news/story/sm_748025.html

Graham-Rowe Duncan 2003, Last Updated 12 March 2003, World's first brain prosthesis revealed, New Scientist, London, UK, Last Viewed 5 May 2003, http://www.newscientist.com/news/news.jsp?id=ns99993488.

Gugliotta Guy 2001, Last Updated 17 April 2001, The Robot with the Mind of an Eel, Washington Post, Washington DC, Last Viewed 19 May 2003, http://www.raven1.net/eelrobot.htm


Hofstadter Douglas R. 1999, Goedel, Escher, Bach: An Eternal Golden Braid, Basic Books 1999, ISBN 0465026567

Pepperberg 1993, Last Updated January 1995, STUDIES TO DETERMINE THE INTELLIGENCE OF AFRICAN GREY PARROTS, Proceedings of The International Aviculturists Society, Last viewed May 30 2003, http://www.mecca.org/~rporter/PARROTS/grey_al.html

Weinstock Harper Lee 1999, The Smarter White Meat, Last Visited 30 May 2003, http://www.timknox.com/weinstock/pig.html

If you want a conclusion, here's some advice: next time you're buying eggs, buy "barn-laid" or "free-range" varieties, if you can possibly afford the 25% price difference. And if you're not in a part of the world where the distinction is marked on the box, then lobby your local politicians to get the labelling made mandatory, at least, on the non-battery ones. The longest journey begins with a single step, and you'll have done more practical good than all of PETA's antics put together.

Ig Nobel Laureates

As an Australian, I'm proud to be able to congratulate some fellow Australians, the winners of the Ig Nobel prize for Physics in 2003, Jack Harvey, John Culvenor, Warren Payne, Steve Cowley, Michael Lawrance, David Stuart, and Robyn Williams.

They won for their groundbreaking report "An Analysis of the Forces Required to Drag Sheep over Various Surfaces." [.pdf]
[PUBLISHED IN: Applied Ergonomics, vol. 33, no. 6, November 2002, pp. 523-31.]

From one of the joint winners, Dr John F. Culvenor ::

The Ignobel awards are about research that "first makes you laugh, then makes you think". The funny thing about our research was that one of the conclusions was that it is easier to pull a sheep downhill. Newton was right! The serious side is that changes to workplaces to improve safety are sometimes fairly straightforward. Listening to workers and putting into place good ergonomics and good science can yield dividends.

Previous Australian winners of Ig Nobels have included:

• INTERDISCIPLINARY RESEARCH 2002
  Karl Kruszelnicki of The University of Sydney, for performing a comprehensive survey of human belly button lint -- who gets it, when, what color, and how much.
• TECHNOLOGY 2001
  Awarded jointly to John Keogh of Hawthorn, Victoria, Australia, for patenting the wheel in the year 2001, and to the Australian Patent Office for granting him Innovation Patent #2001100012.[pdf]
• LITERATURE 2000
  Jasmuheen (formerly known as Ellen Greve) of Australia, first lady of Breatharianism, for her book "Living on Light," which explains that although some people do eat food, they don't ever really need to.

There is no truth to the rumour that Jasmuheen has been employed as a consultant by the Democratic People's Republic of Korea.

1984 above the 38th Parallel

We must do something about North Korea.

Han, a Communist Party official in North Korea, was walking home from work when he heard he was in trouble. He had smuggled a radio back from China after an official trip. He listened to it late at night, huddled with earphones on and shades drawn, to hear music that brought him a whisper of sanity and took him away from the horrors of his day.

Now, someone had found it, or someone had told.

"It could have been my children who said something outside. It could have been my friend; one knew," said Han, 39, who spoke on condition he be identified only by his surname.

"If a farmer or laborer had a radio, he could have been released," Han said. "But I was an official. In my case, it would have been torture and a life sentence in a political prisoners' camp."

We must do something about North Korea.

• Because of what Juche/Ingsoc is doing to millions.


• Because of the export of heroin to finance the lifestyle of the inner party.


• And not least, because Big Brother/Dear Leader thinks the best way of extorting Foreign Aid is to threaten possible donors with Nukes.

OK, any suggestions?

The Basic Problems with Microsoftware

As a Computer Professional, I am constantly amazed at the shoddy goods the Software Industry has provided, and continues to provide. Customers who should reasonably expect better have come to consider unreliability to be normal. Instead of programmers making "Fault-Tolerant" programs that keep on working despite minor flaws, they've managed to make "Fault-Tolerant" customers instead.

From a recent ZDNet Computer Security Newsletter :

It seems like Microsoft is determined to stuff a BASIC interpreter into every piece of software it writes, even when it makes little sense to do so. No one in their right mind would want to allow people to run programs attached to e-mail messages, but VBScript does just that when you click an e-mail attachment in Outlook or Outlook Express.

It's possible that this idea made sense at one time–before the threat of viruses and worms became so high. But now VBA [ Visual Basic for Applications ] is simply an unwise feature to have, and using it isn't worth the risk. Average users don't benefit from VBA ; it only exposes them to undesired threats.
[...]
As soon as the world became obsessed with the idea that writing software was simple, a lot of people who really had no business writing software suddenly became programmers.

Don't bet that the so-called professional programmers at Microsoft are going to make their software any better in the near future. The kids writing exploits are beating the pants off the pros daily, and they'll continue to frustrate Microsoft--and the rest of the world--until Microsoft changes its design philosophy.

From Reuters :

LOS ANGELES/SEATTLE, Oct 2 (Reuters) - Microsoft Corp. (NasdaqNM:MSFT - News) faces a proposed class-action lawsuit in California based on the claim that its market-dominant software is vulnerable to viruses capable of triggering "massive, cascading failures" in global computer networks.

The lawsuit, filed on Tuesday in Los Angeles Superior Court, also claims that Microsoft's security warnings are too complex to be understood by the general public and serve instead to tip off "fast-moving" hackers on how to exploit flaws in its operating system.

From CRN :

A panel of leading security experts Wednesday blasted Microsoft for vulnerabilities in its software, and warned that reliance on the Redmond, Wash.-based developer's software is a danger to both enterprises and national security.

The group, which debuted its report at the first day of a two-day conference hosted by the Computer & Communications Industry Association (CCIA), was headed by Dan Geer, the chief technology officer of @Stake, a security consulting firm.

"As fast as the world's computing infrastructure is growing, vulnerability to attack is growing faster still," said Geer.

"Microsoft's attempts to tightly integrate myriad applications with its operating system have significantly contributed to excessive complexity and vulnerability. This deterioration of security compounds when nearly all computers rely on a single operating system subject to the same vulnerabilities the world over," Geer added.

Dan Greer was fired the next day : @Stake gets a lot of business from Microsoft.

Standards of Living

While perusing A Voyage To Arcturus, I happened upon a comparison table between costs in the USA in 1959 vs 2003, in terms of the average wage. Simply put, how long would the average American have to work to earn enough to buy various commodities? I've added the figures for Australia, which make an interesting comparison.

Amount of Work Required to Purchase:	1959	2003	Australia 2003
3-Bedroom House	2.5 years	4 years	12 years
New Ford	5 months	7 months	16 months
Gasoline, 1 gallon (3.8 litres)	7 minutes	5 minutes	14 minutes
Bread, 1 pound (400g)	5 minutes	3 minutes	7 minutes
Milk, 1 gallon (3.8 litres)	23 minutes	9 minutes	20 minutes
First Class Postage Stamp	55 seconds	1 min 10 sec	2 minutes

I'm Walking Backwards for Christmas

From The Australian :

The adherents of a strange cult will descend on the NSW town of Woy Woy this weekend as the town celebrates the life of the king of nonsense, Spike Milligan, who died last year.

There will be jazz bands, stand-up comedy and a backwards walk to emulate Milligan's song I'm Walking Backwards For Christmas Across the Irish Sea.

The gentlemen of the Chartered Institute of Logistics and Transport, Northern NSW Section, will be making the journey from Newcastle for the special day, led by incurable Spike fan Colin Randall.

Mr Randall, also president of the Tie Society of Australia, has been collecting Spike Memorabilia for 20 years and said the society would be displaying some of Spike's books on transport along with photos of suitably Milliganesque pieces of machinery.

"There is a need for eccentricity in life," Mr Randall said.

Spike's parents lived in Woy Woy and he was a regular visitor, once having himself delivered to their front lawn by truck in a large cardboard box.

Despite his description of Woy Woy as "the world's only above ground cemetery", the town has taken the British comic to their hearts.

Spike suffered from manic depression after shell shock in World War II and the festival has been timed to coincide with Mental Health Week.

His brother Patrick is one of the organisers and it is hoped SpikeFest will become an annual event.

In the spirit of previous posts about Dr Who, and in memory of a Certain Goon, may I present : The Home Life of Daleks.

The Spirit of Australia

In order to understand Australian Society, Australian Foreign Relations (especially with France), and Australian Politics, there's no finer encapsulation than a story on The Command Post.

Brain Food

A title I could have used for my last post, but in a fit of good taste [sorry...], didn't. Pork Brains in Milk Gravy. I've eaten and enjoyed Fish Eye Soup, Pork Knuckles and Jellyfish Salad, Snake, Crocodile, and Kimchi (fermented cabbage sauce), but Pork Brains in Milk Gravy...

Moving right along.

This post is something of a celebration. For MIT have now released their Open Course Ware (OCW) project.

Welcome to MIT's OpenCourseWare: a free and open educational resource for faculty, students, and self-learners around the world.
[...]
With the publicaton [sic] of 500 courses, MIT OCW offers educational materials from 33 academic disciplines and all five of MIT's schools.

OK, so maybe the spelling needs a little work... Never Mind.

I just wish I had a couple of dozen lifetimes, and a couple of million dollars for expenses, so I could just gorge on this feast of knowledge. As it is, I must limit myself to a few choice tidbits from the smorgasbord. A few succulent morcels from the school of Brain and Cognitive Sciences (what else?) as a starter. Then a juicy gobbet of Linguistics and Philosophy. Back to the Elec Eng and Comp Sci department for a dollop of Computer Ethics. I'll indulge myself with some tasty Literature, than for dessert, some Political Science.

Ahhhhhhh. But I suspect that will take up most of the one lifetime I have. And I have something even more important in my life - a 2 year old son, who takes up a lot of my time. I wish I could play with him even more than I do though. And more time for my long-suffering partner-in-crime and wife of 22 years, Carmel. How she puts up with me, I do not know.

From the Sublime to the Ridiculous : a site brought to my attention by Evil Pundit, Australia's Wackiest Academic Websites. "We put the ACK!!! back in Academia".

The older universities tend to lag in this area, but UNSW [University of New South Wales] can provide supervision on such hot topics as `Cyberspace and embodiment' and, with the self-referentiality on which postmodernism prides itself, `Well-being through movement: Exploring the PhD degree'. Macquarie University has drawn even with recent research showing that "Tattooing is just a literalist process of marking and being marked, which is really what life is.".
NEW! Macquarie has blitzed all comers with its `Bodily modifications' conference: see the Herald-Sun's report. (If you think this article is exaggerating, check the conference abstracts, such as `What an arse can do: affect, time, and intercorporeal transformation'.)

As me good mate and fellow blogger Evil Pundit says :

One of the cool things an arse can do is win a tenured position at an educational institution by spouting postmodern gibberish.

Quite.

A swift digression: When I was a mere lad, in about 1974, I attended a Pacific Poetry Seminar at the then newly-opened Macquarie University, the reward for having some minor work deemed worthy of publication - I forget what it was. Anyway, I took part in a seminar amongst the Best and the Brightest of what was shortly thereafter to be called "The Pacific Rim". Delegates from Tonga, Fiji, much of Micronesia, Japan, Indonesia, Singapore, California, New Zealand and so on. Lo and Behold, the first item to be lovingly dissected was my own poem. Well, they managed to read into it things I'd never intended. I remember Kierkegaard and Joyce being mentioned as "obvious inspirations". When they got onto the bit about how it reflected the metaphysical essence of "A la recherche du Temps Perdue" I decided to call a halt to the whole farce – and was roundly shouted down. What did I, the mere author, know of what I was trying to communicate? Didn't the professionals know far more than I? As a 15 year old who had never encountered Marcel Proust (in the original or otherwise) and to whom Soren Kierkegaard's Existentialism was a closed book, I sat in silent awe at the Intellectual Self-Abuse that went on for a good two hours. They never did get to the next item.

I decided then and there that much of Literary Academe was Hokum, a power game played for the benefit of the participants, and sadly, of little interest to me. "'Tis a Tale told by an Idiot, Full of Sound and Fury, Signifying...... nothing." Oh, there was a core of meaning, of value, that I would dearly have loved to explore. But with so much accreted nonsense around it that to study it while retaining a shred of intellectual honesty was beyond my poor abilities. Macquarie University thus taught me a valuable lesson, even though I never attended a single class there.

I might add that under a former lecturer of mine, Jan Hext, Macquarie University's Computer Science department was later transformed into a first-rate institution, one of the best in Australia, if not the world. The Universe is full of strangeness, wonder and Irony. And of course Pork Brains in Milk Gravy.

Today's Brain Post

I've been blogging about Politics, about Serendipitous Intellectual puzzles, and about Space recently. But not much about Brains. Well, over at A Small Victory, I found .... Pork Brains in Milk Gravy. I repeat, Pork Brains in Milk Gravy.

Ponder on that for a while.

If you follow the link, and read the comments, you'll find a recipe for a dish I have a certain fondness for - Black Pudding. I eat it about once every 2 years or so, but have one in my fridge now.

But after looking at Pork Brains in Milk Gravy. Pork Brains in Milk Gravy. Pork Brains in Milk Gravy... suddenly I'm not particularly Hungry.

Pork Brains in Milk Gravy.

Gadzooks.

Comments:

Why?! Why?! Why?!
You don't understand! I just finished a nice bowl of clam chowder and now......ooooh, I don't feel so good! Really!
How could you?! How could anyone write those words let alone...

:: Cara Remal

My sympathies. If it's any consolation, I was just finishing off some lamb chops when I got your e-mail in reply. Just being reminded of the article.... let's just say that our Dog was grateful.

Hey, with the high holidays this week, I was just wondering...do you think pork brains in milk gravy is kosher? could you check the can for me?

::Jeremy

Kosher? Why, it's even more Kosher than Oysters Kilpatrick!

Let's see...
Fish without scales - check
Meat and Milk together - check
Meat from a non-ruminant - check
I think the Worcestershire sauce is OK though, so only 3 Ecclesiastical Dietary laws are not–so–much–broken–as–shattered.

As regards checking the cans...

I'm in Australia. That means that it's likely that the nearest cans of Pork Brains (with Milk Gravy) are at least 10,000 miles away from me, in the far-off USA, with the Pacific Ocean separating me from them.

You have no idea how comforting that thought is. Even though I'm not a Red Sea Pedestrian.

Turn of Phrase of the Day

From a mailing list I'm on, discussing the latest findings regarding probabilities of extraterrestrial life :

> The smart money is on the idea that bacteria [are] all over the Universe.
> What it has evolved into is anybody's guess.

This would explain a lot of things -- telemarketers, for instance.
-Chris Weuve

British Understatement

From the Grauniad :

Captain Byambaa Chinzorig is, perhaps not surprisingly, a little touchy about 1258 and all that. When Mongolian forces last came to Iraq, led by the great warrior Prince Hulagu, grandson of Genghis Khan, they sacked Baghdad, killed an estimated 800,000 people, brought to a bloody end the Abbasid caliphate and destroyed a vast array of ornate public buildings and a sophisticated irrigation system. Today, 745 years later, their plans are much more modest.

"We all know the history of the 13th century when the Mongolian soldiers captured Iraq but this time is completely different," said Capt Chinzorig, 30, a proud graduate of the Military University of Mongolia, Ulan Bator's equivalent of Sandhurst or West Point. "Of course, we have a different mission."

Or so one hopes.

What's Mandarin for "The Right Stuff"?

Some breaking news from The Australian :

A pool of 14 Chinese astronauts has arrived at a base in northwestern China ahead of the country's first manned space flight.

The pro-Beijing Wen Wei Po newspaper said two instructors Li Jinlong and Wu Jie were among the 14, but it denied reports in Hong Kong that the two would be chosen to orbit the earth in the Shenzhou V spacecraft.

Speculation has mounted over when China plans to launch its first manned space flight, with officials on September 16 saying only that it would take place in the next three months.

However, other space analysts have said the launch could come as soon as October 1st.

Three astronauts could in theory man the space flight, but according to analysts only one or two of the 14 who have undergone a decade of training would be chosen.

Snippet from a Mate in Iraq

"Got a letter from JA, seems to be vulnerable to "the Bug". Was told he couldn't blow up the munitions they found as the last blast raised a cloud that the weather satellites picked up :)"

Taboo - A Quiz about Morality

From Butterflies & Wheels, a blog that Norman Geras highly recommends,, comes a quiz about personal morality. I came across as less permissive than most, (Moralising 0.53 vs average 0.25), Interference Factor 0.4 vs average 0.16, that is, more likely to stick my nose into other people's business, and a Universalising factor of 1.00 vs an average of 0.42, completely disregarding custom as affecting moral decisions.

I think the test is slightly flawed - there are questions involving both private and public matters that are intermingled in the evaluation section which are quite seperate when asked. I won't give the game away by giving concrete cases, let's just say that I believe that certain actions which are harmless when performed by consenting adults in private should be publically discouraged should society be forced to become aware of them. Without a smidgin of hypocricy such as this, privacy has no value. But more than a smidgin is too much. Example : Shouting "Whites should be exterminated!" in one's own home, with no-one to hear, harms none (except possibly the speaker, though I think it to be a symptom not a cause of self-harm). Yet if such actions became known, sanctions should be imposed. Not legal ones (IMHO, and in this case), just expressions of societal disapproval, because a purely private act has, by being published, become a public one, (a tautology, to state the bleedin obvious) and hence of a different character.

Note that last leap of logic in the last phrase : it assumes without proof that public acts and private acts are by their nature, different. Which sounds suspiciously to me like "begging the question", and I'm the one who wrote it. Still, it's what I believe, and I'm willing to listen avidly to reasons why I'm wrong, wrong, Wrong.

Matters of Ethics and Morality are important to me. I've been involved in the past with making "better ways to kill people", and carry the burden and responsibility for at least 2 enemy deaths in combat caused by the use of systems I've created. The same techniques used to make weapons are exactly the techniques used to make so–called "Safety Critical" systems, things like Railway Control systems and Avionics, which have to work to a certain minimum level 100% of the time or lives will be lost. When teaching people who make such systems, I always get them to consider their ethical and moral responsibilities. This is serious stuff, just one mistake can kill people, directly or indirectly. Screw up, and that "smart bomb" hits an orphanage, not the Uranium enrichment plant nearby.

Anyway, the quiz gives one furiously to think. Please go visit the rest of the site, it has some truly erudite (and sometimes hilarious) demolition of Fashionable Nonsense.

Comments:

First, thanks for some time ago adding lots of much needed detail to a comment I made at Winds of War
about the Pauline in prison affair. Much appreciated.

Now: public and private acts and are they (always) different.

First, let's see if we disagree.

I came out with logically consistent views but a "tension" in my answers because I regarded the failure on the bad son go visit his dead mother's grave as doing harm.

Partly this is a point of religion: those who wrote the quiz assumed dead=nonexistent, whereas I take a more Egyptian view: dead but not nonexistent. (I would not regard an undiscovered tomb robbery as being a private or harmless act either.) And naturally I don't
expect agreement on that, so there's no point in arguing it.

But I do think the private (~> no harm ~> no evil except perhaps by violating the arbitrary dicta of the gods) vs. public (~> undesirable hedonic consequences ~> perhaps evil) division breaks down with acts to which there were living witnesses, but to which there are or will be no living witnesses.

If the bad son's promise to his dying mother is irrelevant because there are no living witnesses, I am going to tell a story about Jim and Joe in a lonely place, and how frail old Jim brought Joe's IOUs, and burly young Joe brought rope, a shovel and some heavy duty garbage bags. Whatever passed between Jim and Joe in that lonely place is now irrelevant: it is now a private act, and Joe never felt a bit bad about it as he enjoyed a life less burdened by debt.

I think this is what it may come to if you take the view that acts, including speech acts, involving the soon to be dead count as public (and are therefore stringently assessed in moral terms), until the witnesses are dead, at which point the accounting is redone on the basis that the non-living/nonexistent don't count.

While I do not see a logical flaw if someone says "that is right, I would disapprove of the act till there was nobody living who had been harmed by it, and then I would reverse my moral judgment on Joe and what he did and give them both a pass," I do not like it a bit.

For this reason, I think that the public/private distinction, which I agree is very sensible and necessary in most circumstances, hits an awkward patch here. And the awkwardness ought to be resolved in favor of the dead.

Which means that since the son's promise to his mother was not a solitary act when he made it, it still has its moral force, and he ought to be reproved for his conduct and pressed to keep his word, if it was possible to do so. And in my story, not only is Joe a
murderer, he still owes Jim his money, and on both counts, Joe should be made to pay.

Your opinion?

Or were your issue with public/private distinctions in the example cases different?

David Blue

Irrelevant afterthough: I remember once reading a philosophical argument, the details of which I cannot at all recall, that meant that you could not pre-empt, because you have no rights against merely notional or prospective violence, it is only actual violence against which you have rights. Put that together with some sound materialist view that only the living have rights, and you can conclude that Jim had nothing to complain about before or afterwards, but the full protection of moral philosophy at the exact moment the shovel smashed his skull. :P

::David Blue

Someone who believes in an Omniscient Deity would have to argue that no act is truly "private", as God Sees All. I'm an agnostic rather than an atheist, due mainly to various abstruse physical phenomena and the partly intuitive, partly rational evaluation that for an uncaring Universe, there's far too much good around us. Why are Auschwitz and 9/11 the exception rather than the rule? The main reason for not having faith in some Deity is because one is not neccessary, yet I find much in the world that can plausibly be explained by postulating the existence of one. I don't have enough faith to be an atheist, but nowhere near enough faith to be a deist. I said "plausibly", not "most plausibly".

But I digress.

Your point, if I understand rightly, was that given the existence of some individuality post-mortem, then both logic and intuition give the same results: killing people is wrong, regardless of whether someone lives to tell the tale. And without such existence, there is a mismatch.

The mismatch is more perceived than real though, if you assume that Evil is timeless - an act that was once Evil remains Evil despite future happenings. For in the long run, everyone dies. The Sack of Magdeburg in the 17th century remains a horror, despite there being no-one now alive who witnessed it.

I'll reply more and at length in a future post. But may I state my thanks for giving my ethics a good work-out, and I'm glad I was able to help a little with the details of the Hanson affair.

Memorable Phrase of the Week

Quoted on Mark Steyn, this from Rich Lowry :

Developing mass commercial aviation and soaring skyscrapers was the west's idea; slashing the throats of stewardesses and flying the planes into the skyscrapers was radical Islam's idea.