Wednesday 13 December 2006

Over Achiever

When I first had the packing removed, my depth was 8 inches. Now the instructions were to try to keep that depth. It was taken as read that you couldn't - with the initial swelling, an apparent depth of 8 inches was an actual depth of 7.5.
It's just that I did try to maintain the 8 inch depth, and succeeded.

Now Dr Suporn has gently but firmly told me to keep to 7.5. With my frame, my torso's anatomy, there is a risk that 8 or over will tend to intrude into areas best left alone. 7.5 is still way over the odds for my height - it was becuse my pubic bone, in fact my pelvic structure, was female, more set up for a birth canal than for external genitalia - but not very good for either.

Another change of policy: the usual dilation regime is 2 hours per session, 2 sessions every day, for the first 6 months. Now I've been told that providing I maintain 7.5 inches with the large dilator, I can reduce the time from 2 hours to 1.5, or even 1, again providing I get the full depth as I have been doing. Depth and frequency is more important than duration.

This morning though, I tried without painkillers or muscle relaxants, and barely got 7.5 after the full 2 hours. I also feel as if, well, things have been stretched a bit. Actually, make that a lot. No blood though, no tearing.

Not quite ready for Prime Time yet, but should be back at work in 2 months not three, without having the side-effects of the painkillers affecting my thinking too much. Peak pain is at 2-4 months, usually 2, after that it gets easier.

I'm also told that having a boyfriend obviates the need for dilation after 6 months, but I think I'll stick with the dilation. 48 seems a little old to be looking for a bed partner, casual or otherwise, especially if one is both a never-been-kissed Virgin and has No Idea how to socialise, let alone play the dating game. I have Love, I have my little Boy, right now a sex life seems not just un-neccessary, but too much bother, despite the fact that my new configuration is very obviously far more sexually capable than anything before - normal in fact. Exploring it, even alone, should be quite fun. When I've healed, and purely in the interests of Science of course.

There's also the problem of not having a sexual orientation, being asexual, but it's early days yet. Much as I would like to get back onto hormones as soon as possible - I'm suffering menopausal symptoms - I want to get a complete set of blood tests done first to establish a new baseline. My pelvis wasn't quite the standard male model, that was a surprise, and every time we find out something more about my metabolism, more minor anomalies crop up. Individually negligible (usually) but taken together, they add up to something definitely abnormal.

There's so very much we don't know. So let's try gathering some more data.

Oh Gosh I'm a Geek. And you know what? If I'd been born with 46xx chromosomes, I'd still be a Geek, with posters of Ada Augusta, Mary Curie, and Rosamund Franklin on my walls. My Heroines, Geek Girls All, and I'd probably be an activist in getting Girls into Science and Technology. Ah well, maybe in a Universe next door. If so, I hope that version of me has time for children too. They're the most wonderful parts of this whole peculiar Universe after all.

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