It's been exactly three years since my unusual transition started. My initial faith that we'd figure out exactly what metabolic weirdness I have may not have been misplaced, but it's taking longer than I expected. Recent events, namely, the rapid masculinisation that I started having, may provide a clue.
Having both Androgen Insensitivity Syndrome - a tentative diagnosis I was first given 23 years ago - plus adrenal hyperplasia - might fit. One feminises a masculine base, the other masculinises a feminine base, to over-simplify. The treatment I'm having currently, one that seems to be working, is the same as for a standard model 46xx woman with Andrenal Hyperplasia.
Yes, normal testosterone (for a male) and I feminised: now low testosterone (even for a female) and I started masculinising.
Well, I did wonder what even more improbable thing could possibly happen to top the events of 2005.
By the way, the odds of having both conditions appear to be 169,000,000 to 1 against. So I rather think it's probably something else not identified yet, a mere 1 in 3 million or so "ideopathic" syndrome.
Again, a lot of posts to do with my transition, or where I illuminate a larger issue in terms of my own experiences, and how I feel about my transition.
http://aebrain.blogspot.com/2007/05/22-years-ago.html
http://aebrain.blogspot.com/2007/05/dedicated.html
http://aebrain.blogspot.com/2007/05/pain-in-hip-pocket-nerve.html
http://aebrain.blogspot.com/2007/05/all-this-and-world-war-two.html
http://aebrain.blogspot.com/2007/06/cosmos-15.html
http://aebrain.blogspot.com/2007/06/fighting-good-fight-total-war.html
http://aebrain.blogspot.com/2007/06/news-of-world.html
http://aebrain.blogspot.com/2007/06/next-year-in-jerusalem.html
http://aebrain.blogspot.com/2007/06/flavour-of-month.html
http://aebrain.blogspot.com/2007/07/barabas-followers.html
http://aebrain.blogspot.com/2007/07/for-exercise-for-exercise-for-exercise.html
http://aebrain.blogspot.com/2007/07/from-ben-gurion.html
http://aebrain.blogspot.com/2007/07/to-chonburi.html
http://aebrain.blogspot.com/2007/07/good-news-from-thailand.html
http://aebrain.blogspot.com/2007/07/doctorate-blues.html
http://aebrain.blogspot.com/2007/07/gates-of-jerusalem.html
http://aebrain.blogspot.com/2007/07/morning-after-night-before.html
http://aebrain.blogspot.com/2007/07/dont-do-it-unless-you-have-to.html
http://aebrain.blogspot.com/2007/07/i-passed-my-medical-exam.html
http://aebrain.blogspot.com/2007/07/hate.html
http://aebrain.blogspot.com/2007/07/chinese-temple-thailand.html
By the way - the girl in that picture is Lucy Parker, whose story appeared on BBC soon thereafter. A nice kid.
http://aebrain.blogspot.com/2007/07/elephant-martial-arts.html
http://aebrain.blogspot.com/2007/07/retribution.html
http://aebrain.blogspot.com/2007/07/blogging-will-be-light.html
http://aebrain.blogspot.com/2007/08/incident-at-motor-registry.html
http://aebrain.blogspot.com/2007/08/passports-part-ii.html
http://aebrain.blogspot.com/2007/08/passports-round-2-first-volley.html
http://aebrain.blogspot.com/2007/08/passports-round-2-section-9.html
http://aebrain.blogspot.com/2007/08/sex-and-mapi.html
http://aebrain.blogspot.com/2007/08/cosmos-intersex-article-online.html
http://aebrain.blogspot.com/2007/09/fathers-day.html
http://aebrain.blogspot.com/2007/09/60-seconds-of-zoe.html
http://aebrain.blogspot.com/2007/09/yet-another-part-of-puzzle.html
http://aebrain.blogspot.com/2007/09/some-good-news.html
http://aebrain.blogspot.com/2007/10/twenty-five-years-ago.html
http://aebrain.blogspot.com/2007/10/passports-round-2-getting-legal.html
http://aebrain.blogspot.com/2007/10/phantom-organs.html
http://aebrain.blogspot.com/2007/10/venting.html
http://aebrain.blogspot.com/2007/10/good-deed-for-today.html
http://aebrain.blogspot.com/2007/10/two-hundred-thousand.html
http://aebrain.blogspot.com/2007/10/outgoing-mail.html
http://aebrain.blogspot.com/2007/10/phonecall-from-apo.html
http://aebrain.blogspot.com/2007/10/so-much-for-stealth.html
http://aebrain.blogspot.com/2007/11/blind-alley.html
http://aebrain.blogspot.com/2007/11/opposite-direction.html
http://aebrain.blogspot.com/2007/12/passports-last-battle.html
http://aebrain.blogspot.com/2007/12/hate-life-universe-and-everything.html
http://aebrain.blogspot.com/2007/12/phd-matters.html
http://aebrain.blogspot.com/2007/12/todays-battle_30.html
http://aebrain.blogspot.com/2008/01/legal-insanity.html
http://aebrain.blogspot.com/2008/01/he-said-she-said.html
http://aebrain.blogspot.com/2008/01/take-5.html
http://aebrain.blogspot.com/2008/01/maple-leaf-rag.html
http://aebrain.blogspot.com/2008/01/itinerary.html
http://aebrain.blogspot.com/2008/02/winter-in-north-america-is-cold.html
http://aebrain.blogspot.com/2008/03/why-we-fight.html
http://aebrain.blogspot.com/2008/03/family.html
http://aebrain.blogspot.com/2008/03/childhood-memories.html
http//aebrain.blogspot.com/2008/03/you-do-what-you-have-to-do.html
http://aebrain.blogspot.com/2008/03/todays-battle_27.html
http://aebrain.blogspot.com/2008/04/who-ordered-that.html
http://aebrain.blogspot.com/2008/04/in-good-company.html
http://aebrain.blogspot.com/2008/05/and-talking-about-ignorance-and-bigotry.html
Some of the connections with my transition get very tenuous, and that's only to be expected. It's just not that big a part of my life any more. In Year One, I changed my social role from male to female, and came to terms with the fact that that silly idea that I'd had since childhood, that if I wasn't female I certainly ought to have been, was correct. In Year Two I had genital reconstruction surgery, and also came to terms with the fact that I'm straight rather than lesbian. That was a big deal!
In Year Three... well, I had some complications from surgery fixed. And I got my passport, finally. Some even more weird hormonal stuff, now being successfully treated. A bit of an anti-climax, really.
I'm not done with transition, not quite. I still haven't had a hairdo, nor a manicure or makeover. There's the unfinished business to do with my Birth Certificate. I still have much to learn about being a woman, lots of fiddly details. But I have love, I have a family, the important things, and I'll get the rest attended to in good time.
I expect Year Four's list to be a great deal shorter. But you never know what's going to happen next, and I won't tempt Fate.
Three Years In, this is where I am. And it feels good.
Picture (C) 2008 ACP Publications and may not be copied without permission - license to me is for personal use only
5 comments:
Congratulations on the 3 year anniversary. Obviously it's been a long strange trip, but I think that the family picture shows that it's been a worthwhile trip.
I'm looking forward to more fascinating posts.
Zoe,
It's hard to believe it's been three years! With all that's happened, it seems much longer.
Despite it all, you've handled it with grace and dignity.
You're an amazing person, Zoe. May your next three years be full of more joy than you can imagine!
Nicole Joy
On the other hand, it could be menopause.
what an incredible journey you have been on. Thanks for sharing it.
on the question of probability, keep in mind that the odds of you specifically having both conditions are considerably shorter, since you already have one. Or another way: the odds of you having both conditions are simply the odds of having the second condition, since the probability of the first condition is already one.
Having said that, a back-of-the-envelope Bayesian estimate would probably suggest that any further complications are because of your existing condition, as you say.
Thanks everyone for the good wishes.
Yes, it's been an interesting ride so far. I wonder what's going to happen next?
On second thoughts, maybe a quiet life might be preferable. It's never been boring, but it hasn't exactly been easy either. Whatever will be, will be though.
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